Conflict 2.0: Upgrading Solutions with Accountability During Conflict

Accountability during conflict is a significant first step to resolving the most difficult conversations.

Are you ready for some ideas to improve your relationships during stress and feel more in control? If so, you’re in the right place!

Chris Felton, Author of “Think and Grow You,” was a recent guest on my show, Kick Conflict to the Curb™. The theme: Accountability during the conflict. 

We started the engaging interview with a quote I read in his book, “Life would be easy if it weren’t for people.” This is a preview of what is to come! 🙂

Chris shared the following ideas about accountability during conflict:

• We judge and resent others before taking a hard look at our role during the conflict
• Life won’t work when we don’t have great relationships
• It’s exhausting to fix others (Chris did this for years – like many of us)
• It’s not the other person; it’s the work we have to do for ourselves

Thanks to Chris Felton for such an engaging interview. Check out his book, “Think and Grow You.”

Here’s my take on Chris’s ideas on accepting accountability during conflict

It’s easy to blame and judge others, especially when we feel we’ve been “wronged.” “They did this to me,” or “It’s their fault.”

During coaching sessions, I ask clients to look inside and find at least one action they took to make the other person react negatively.

Of course, I’m not talking about abusive relationships. This is another story; we must remove ourselves from these dangerous people. 

Clients discover that not standing up for themselves allows the other person to continue their rude behavior. Or using sarcastic remarks could fuel the fire.

Once personal accountability enters the blaming game, it’s easier to gain control. However, this also stops us from playing the victim. It’s time to figure out how to have that critical conversation with the other person without judgment. 

How to compare Chris’s interview to The Velveteen Rabbit

Chris was as honest as The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. If you don’t know her book, here’s my favorite part about being real:

“Generally, by the time you are REAL, most of your hair has been cut off, your eyes drop out, you get loose in the joints, and you are very shabby. But these things don’t matter because once you are REAL, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

How to walk away from toxic relationships

At times we need to walk away from toxic relationships. So we tried everything we could, including accepting responsibility for our actions.

I’ve had to do this for several toxic relationships in my life. “Irrelevant” is the word that saves me after I walk away from these people. They are irrelevant in my life. I may still see them due to work or even family functions. It’s easier for me to be with them because they no longer bother me. They are irrelevant in my life!

How do Chris’s interview and this article resonate with you? I look forward to answering your questions and comments.

The link below is a 2-minute 46-second clip from Chris Felton’s interview. 

https://youtu.be/uruVf22h5ZU

Take out your popcorn and enjoy.

Here’s A TREAT FOR YOU

Do you want to improve your relationships and get more inner peace?  All you have to do is go to www.KickConflicttotheCurb.com to grab your FREE communication assessment.

You want this because you’ll: 

• Have increased self-confidence because you no longer dread difficult conversations.
• Experience more enjoyment at work because the drama has been eliminated.
• No longer feel invisible; instead, your input is recognized and respected.

If this is something that you want, all you have to do is go to www.KickConflicttotheCurb.com

If you already took the Kick Conflict to the Curb Assessment and are ready for the next level of support, email me at Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.
I will send you my online calendar to schedule a call.

What will you get from the call?

• Get extreme clarity on one of your current challenges
• Understand what is necessary to get you from where you are to where you want to be.
• Create an action plan so you know what your next steps are

THIS IS NOT A SALES CALL! 🙂

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

Thanks for reading, and remember – You Get What You Tolerate!