• Do you know people who don’t see that there’s more than one answer and are inflexible?
• Have you considered viewing your conflicts from a broader angle?
• Are you ready to transform your work and home relationships?

This is the first article in a series about understanding, exploring, and thinking about conflict in a new light. 

The short video below gives you food for thought on another way to examine conflict.

Anais Nin, a French American novelist, once said, “We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are!”

We get stuck in our perspectives, focusing only on how conflicts affect us and what irritates us, But what if we could see things differently?

There’s more than one way to look at conflict and more than one answer. Remember, thinking our way is the only way often traps us in a never-ending cycle, like hamsters on a wheel.

If this idea resonates with you, I invite you to subscribe to my LinkedIn Newsletter, Kick Conflict to the Curb. You’ll discover more ideas on stopping feeling invisible and using your voice confidently! 

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?

You can share in the comment section or send me an email HERE

Let me know your thoughts about this series about understanding, exploring, and thinking about conflict in a new light. I’m all ears. 🙂

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

Remember, “You Get What You Tolerate! Will it be chaos or peace?”

Accountability during conflict is a significant first step to resolving the most difficult conversations.

Are you ready for some ideas to improve your relationships during stress and feel more in control? If so, you’re in the right place!

Chris Felton, Author of “Think and Grow You,” was a recent guest on my show, Kick Conflict to the Curb™. The theme: Accountability during the conflict. 

We started the engaging interview with a quote I read in his book, “Life would be easy if it weren’t for people.” This is a preview of what is to come! 🙂

Chris shared the following ideas about accountability during conflict:

• We judge and resent others before taking a hard look at our role during the conflict
• Life won’t work when we don’t have great relationships
• It’s exhausting to fix others (Chris did this for years – like many of us)
• It’s not the other person; it’s the work we have to do for ourselves

Thanks to Chris Felton for such an engaging interview. Check out his book, “Think and Grow You.”

Here’s my take on Chris’s ideas on accepting accountability during conflict

It’s easy to blame and judge others, especially when we feel we’ve been “wronged.” “They did this to me,” or “It’s their fault.”

During coaching sessions, I ask clients to look inside and find at least one action they took to make the other person react negatively.

Of course, I’m not talking about abusive relationships. This is another story; we must remove ourselves from these dangerous people. 

Clients discover that not standing up for themselves allows the other person to continue their rude behavior. Or using sarcastic remarks could fuel the fire.

Once personal accountability enters the blaming game, it’s easier to gain control. However, this also stops us from playing the victim. It’s time to figure out how to have that critical conversation with the other person without judgment. 

How to compare Chris’s interview to The Velveteen Rabbit

Chris was as honest as The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. If you don’t know her book, here’s my favorite part about being real:

“Generally, by the time you are REAL, most of your hair has been cut off, your eyes drop out, you get loose in the joints, and you are very shabby. But these things don’t matter because once you are REAL, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

How to walk away from toxic relationships

At times we need to walk away from toxic relationships. So we tried everything we could, including accepting responsibility for our actions.

I’ve had to do this for several toxic relationships in my life. “Irrelevant” is the word that saves me after I walk away from these people. They are irrelevant in my life. I may still see them due to work or even family functions. It’s easier for me to be with them because they no longer bother me. They are irrelevant in my life!

How do Chris’s interview and this article resonate with you? I look forward to answering your questions and comments.

The link below is a 2-minute 46-second clip from Chris Felton’s interview. 

https://youtu.be/uruVf22h5ZU

Take out your popcorn and enjoy.

Here’s A TREAT FOR YOU

Do you want to improve your relationships and get more inner peace?  All you have to do is go to www.KickConflicttotheCurb.com to grab your FREE communication assessment.

You want this because you’ll: 

• Have increased self-confidence because you no longer dread difficult conversations.
• Experience more enjoyment at work because the drama has been eliminated.
• No longer feel invisible; instead, your input is recognized and respected.

If this is something that you want, all you have to do is go to www.KickConflicttotheCurb.com

If you already took the Kick Conflict to the Curb Assessment and are ready for the next level of support, email me at Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.
I will send you my online calendar to schedule a call.

What will you get from the call?

• Get extreme clarity on one of your current challenges
• Understand what is necessary to get you from where you are to where you want to be.
• Create an action plan so you know what your next steps are

THIS IS NOT A SALES CALL! 🙂

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

Thanks for reading, and remember – You Get What You Tolerate!

This week’s post describes changing our attitude to feel more confident.  I know this is nothing new!  It’s all about attitude!

You can use these ideas if you have bullies in your family too.

The better we feel about ourselves, the fewer times we have to knock someone down to feel tall!
      – Odetta, American Singer and Actor

I want to give bullies Odetta’s quote – wouldn’t you?

Tip #1:  Your Attitude Affects How You Handle Workplace Bullies

 Brad, my coaching client, practiced making conversations safe with me before he had the tough conversation with his bully.

Brad’s bully listened to him after the interaction.  This bully was not aware that his words hurt others.  No one had the nerve to speak with him.  Brad did, and the bully now has respect for him. 

Instead of saying, “Why do you like insulting our team members?”  Brad changed this to, “Let’s discuss how we can communicate better with everyone on our team.”  The bully was included in the conversation. Everyone felt safe and discussed solid solutions.  A win/win was the result.

Tip #2:  Create a Plan to Handle Workplace Bullies

What can you do to change your attitude?

• Stop complaining about the bully to others who can’t help you
• Create a plan on how to start the conversation
• Go to leadership or Human Resources
• Practice the communication skills you learn here
• Look up past posts in the search section. 

Here’s a disclaimer!  It’s always a risk to have tough conversations.  At least you tried!  You didn’t stand still and take this difficult person’s constant sarcasm or criticism.

Discover the Impact of Not Addressing Conflict or Expecting Different Results by Doing the Same Thing

• Are you ready to explore how you react before, during, and after conflict?
• Do you want to reduce your inner stress by discovering blind spots and what triggers set you off? 
• Discover how your direct reports can improve their soft skills after taking the Conflict Dynamic Profile.

Please email me at Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com, and let’s discuss how the Conflict Dynamic Profile can help you resolve your conflict and improve relationships.

Here’s the process: I will send you the Conflict Dynamic Profile. We will meet on zoom to go over your results. Clients discover new awareness about how they deal with conflict. You will receive a VIP price for the private coaching session with me, plus the profile. Contact me for more details to see how you or your direct reports can reduce stress and improve relationships. That’s what I’m all about. 🙂

Have a Great Week

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

248.681.5831: office 
248.310.6998: Cell

Personal Development never gets old. For years I thought I was addicted to work. I recently discovered that I’m addicted to learning and not working. The good news is I feed my brain with new coaching strategies. The bad news is I need to take a break at times. I can live with that! 🙂

• Are you a parent, leader, or coach?
• Do you help others to develop their professional or personal development?
• Are you ready to discover an important insight for your growth?

Personal Development Tip #1

• Teachers, parents, coaches, and leaders must prepare new employees, clients, or children for the path. Help them learn the skills so they can succeed.
• Share your lessons learned when things didn’t go well. Help them take risks. Mistakes are part of the process. Especially when we learn from them.

Personal Development Tip #2

Personal Development Tip #3

• This post is a good first step to use for you or others who you are preparing for the path of success.
• Think about your personal development.
• What were the best strategies to prepare yourself for constant change?
• What lessons did you learn from taking risks and making mistakes?

We are destined to succeed as long as we learn from our mistakes!