Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Improving Communication with a Challenging Colleague

I’m asked the following question during my corporate communication strategy sessions, “Is improving communication possible with someone who causes me such stress?”  Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get along with a certain coworker. Maybe your personalities are just too different, or perhaps your work processes and preferences conflict. Despite this fact, you still have to work together—sometimes very closely—so it is important to establish a relationship of cooperation and respect.

But cooperation and respect can be hard to maintain. The key to improving communication is to get the other person to agree on this relationship goal and then work together to keep the cooperation and respect strong. Therefore, set up a meeting with the coworker who is troubling you and together answer these seven questions. With the insight you glean from the answers to these questions, you can move toward productive results.

Improving Communication Tip 1:  What is our main challenge?

You need to pinpoint what specifically keeps you from having a working relationship based on cooperation and improving communicationrespect. Does it have to do with work styles, personalities, ethnicity/cultural differences, etc.? You need to know what you must overcome before you can actually do it.

Improving Communication Tip 2:  How are we different?

Suppose that you figure out that your conflicting work styles cause the friction. The next step is to identify specifically how your work styles are different. For example, maybe you discover that while you prefer to have email communications, your coworker finds email cold and impersonal and wants face-to-face meetings. At this point, remember not to blame each other for the difference or defend yourself. You want to find how to capitalize on your differences.

Improving Communication Tip 3:  How are we the same?

Despite your differences, you likely have a few similarities. In fact, at one point in your history together, you probably did one project together—even a small one—well. What worked during that project? The key is for you to build off your similarities to establish cooperation and respect.

Improving Communication Tip 4:  What opportunities are within our reach?

In other words, if you work together, what can you accomplish together? This question gets you to think positively about the other person so you can have the motivation to work together in a way that fosters cooperation and respect.

Improving Communication Tip 5:  How can others in the department or company help us?communication strategy

Remember that you’re not alone. Others in your department or company want you to develop mutual cooperation and respect. Identify who those people are and get their input.

Improving Communication Tip 6:  How can we communicate with each other better?

To work on your relationship, try spending some time together. This does not mean hanging out together on weekends. It simply means for you to go to lunch together periodically or agree to meet for 20 minutes every Monday to review weekly goals. Do something to get the dialog started.

Improving Communication Tip 7:  How can we amaze ourselves?

Determine what would be an amazing experience for the two of you working together. Describe it in great detail. Use that vision to guide your future working efforts. Before you know it, you’ll have a solid base of cooperation and respect from which to build.

I want to hear from you

Send me your questions or comments on a communication challenge that you’re having with a colleague.  Let me know strategies you used by improving communication with a difficult colleague.
You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my loyal readers! 🙂

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of communication, leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization experience my customized workshops here.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

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5 Easy Steps to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

Resolving conflict in the workplace is usually a huge concern in any company or group situation, conflicts are bound to happen. When two or more people with varying personalities work together, communication differences, work style preferences, and conflicting opinions are inevitable. The key is to be able to overcome any differences so everyone stays productive and the organization excels.  It’s not easy to do yet it is possible.

How about discussions on politics?  I will not cover this conflict since people don’t know how to control their anger when discussing politics with someone who has an opposing opinion.  Does this happen in your family too? 🙂

My coaching clients use these five steps to reduce conflict in the workplace whenever interpersonal conflict arises during tough conversations.  They’ll save you both time and headaches. A true benefit is that you will even gain control back with difficult people.  I hope you are eager how you can make this happen.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #1:  Identify the Situation

While this step may seem obvious, you need to remember to think in specifics. Simply saying, “The marketing department drives me crazy with their ‘pie in the sky’ thinking,” will not help you resolve the issue. You need to precisely pinpoint who is causing the conflict as well as what he or she does that upsets you.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #2:  Make an Appointment to Discuss the Conflict conflict in the workplace

Once you’ve figured out the specifics, you need to meet with the person. Go to his or her office and say, “I need to talk to you about our working relationship. Would you be willing to meet me for lunch on Thursday?” Whatever you do, don’t barge into the person’s office and start accusing him or her of things. You want to meet the person in a public area so the conversation stays civil.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #3:  Craft your “I” message

The first few words you say to the person will set the tone for the rest of the meeting. Therefore, make sure you don’t accuse the person or put him or her on the defensive by using “you” statements, as in, “You are always late for work and you’re making my job very hard.” Instead, follow this formula:

I am ______________ when ____________ because _____________.
(your responsibility)         (non-judgmental)                 (how it affects you)

For example, “I am frustrated when the team agreed to be punctual for our morning meetings because people are breaking this rule.  People who are on time are upset and this is affecting the team morale.” This approach takes the attention away from the person and focuses it on the behavior that is causing conflict.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #4:  Set your Goal

conflict in the workplaceThink of what the other person will say and what you will say in response. Additionally, plan the desired changes you would like to see the other person implement. Don’t forget that no conflict is one-sided. You must look at the other person’s side of things and find out what you can do to make work easier for him or her too.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #5:  Get closure

Before leaving the meeting, detail the specific agreements both parties have made. Shake hands, and then choose a date and time that you’ll meet again to evaluate overall progress.

Conflicts don’t have to be ugly situations that cause grief and pain. Anyone can resolve conflicts by being Direct with Respect® and by keeping an open mind. The more you work toward resolving conflict in the workplace, the more successful you’ll be in business and in life.

You may even resolve those family discussions about NOT discussing politics when the anger starts making family members feel uncomfortable! 😊

I want to hear from you

Send me your questions or comments on what is and what is not working when conflict is an issue at work.  Does leadership promote resolving the conflict or hope that it will disappear?  You’ll receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my loyal readers! 🙂

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

PS  Read more articles and listen to podcasts at our Knowledge Base Page conflict in the workplace Here.

LEARN MORE how Joyce can help your company eliminate destructive conflict in the workplace Here.

 

 

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Powerful Leadership Skills to Build Trust at Work

Effective CommunicationDo you want to improve your leadership skills and communication?

Is your team disengaged?

Do employees push back?

Are you rescuing employees instead of having them take care of their own conflict at work?

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them –
Ernest Hemingway

This article covers frustrations that my clients experience at work. I interview clients before each coaching program or workshop and specific patterns are apparent.

What are Some Leadership Frustrations?


Top level leaders are exhausted because they are taking over the responsibility from their directors or managers who are not having tough conversations with their team.

The same communication issues occur and nothing seems to get resolved.

Why Does This Happen?

As you know many managers/directors are not trained sufficiently on how to deal with tough conversations. The untrained managers know their job responsibilities. Employee push-back, gossip or any conflict are all issues that they want their boss to resolve.

How Can Top Managers Improve their Leadership Skills?

Top level leaders must have that tough conversation even if their senior staff pushes back and says, “I’m too busy to have productive conversations with employees.” Everyone is busy. It’s the responsibility of upper management to empower the entire team so they feel safe and to solve their own “drama” with bullies, narcissists, or low productive employees. At times leaders need to help managers or team members if a resolution is not found.

Specifically, What Can You DO to Change?

Stop rescuing your team by taking over their job responsibilities especially if your communication skills are excellent. This is your time to train managers and directors to do this on their own. You may think that I’m sounding like MRS. Tough Gal. I’m not. I hear complaints daily about employee morale and some leaders are in a rut and continue this same pattern.

Whose Responsibility is it Anyway?

Everyone’s – not just top leaders, the entire team. It will take you longer to resolve this conflict in the workplace if there’s no trust or lack of training programs. But it’s solvable. Recognize that there is a conflict with communication in your organization and do something immediately.

What Resources Do You Have for Us to Improve Our Leadership Skills?

I want to hear from you

Send me an E-mail describing the frustrations and stress that you experience at work with colleagues or leaders?

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts to reduce conflict and improve leadership skills.

This is Joyce Weiss, Executive and Career Coach

Please visit our FAQ page to discover how our services can help your improve your organization’s communication?

Until next time, Remember…“You Get What You Tolerate!”

PS. Read my article on How to Set Boundaries at Work

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Do You Know Bullies at Work or Home?

This post will identify types of bullies who exist.  As you watch the video start to think if you may have a bullying issue at work. 

Types of Bullies

  • The Screaming Mimi or Verbal Bully: 
    He or she screams or throws things.  Words hurt and the bully humiliates the target.
  • The Constant Critic:
    He or she tells everyone how incompetent the target is at work…usually behind the target’s back.  This can lead to career destruction for the target if leaders don’t know how to control the situation.
  • The 2 Headed Snake Bully: 
    Destroys the target with rumors.
  • The Gatekeeper Bully:
    Withholds resources necessary for targets to succeed.
  • The Sadistic or Narcissist Bully
    Lacks empathy towards others.
  • The Physical Bully:
    Actually hits the target or tables in a violent way.
  • The Serial Bully:
    He or she seems charming while the target is looked upon as a pathetic victim.
  • The Group Bully: 
    He or she likes being part of the gang of “mean boys and girls” like in high school.

 Do Any of These Bullies Sound Familiar?

 I want to hear from you!
CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered.

Do You Want to See How Your Communication Impacts Your Success at Work?
CLICK HERE to take the easy and fun Communicate with Impact Quiz.  You will get your results immediately and learn more about setting boundaries to be more effective at work and in your life.  Sound good?
Here’s the LINK

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?
Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, Communication Strategist,  and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist

I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

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What Happens When YOU Give Constructive Feedback?

Copy (2) of photos from juicer 029This Week’s Question…
Are you usually satisfied with the response from others when you give constructive feedback?
This a challenge for many people…especially if they “think” the feedback was done well. 

Indications to See if The Feedback Was Successful…Or Not
The real test:  What responses did you receive after the feedback?  Look for actions after you give the feedback. 

  • Do you see positive changes in the person’s behavior or tasks?
  • Has your relationship improved?
  • Does the person have a new negative attitude towards you?

Joyce, What Can I do if the Person Didn’t React Well?
I would have an open and REAL conversation about this.  For example:  “Seth, I don’t want to create any stress between us.  I do want to continue growing our professional relationship.  I was caught off guard when I heard  sarcastic remarks because the constructive feedback was meant to help your career growth…not to be mean.  Please let me know how we can move forward because I see a lot of potential having you grow within our company.”  These comments may be too forward or not forward enough for you.  We ALL communicate in a different style.  My main goal when I work with others is to improve communication.  We need to take risks in order to create change.  Remember, “You Get What You Tolerate!”

So How About You?
What would you say to someone who didn’t react well to your constructive feedback?  Where do you need to improve your communication skills?  What questions do you have for me on this subject?

I Want to Hear From You
CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered. Let me know what topics you want me to write about concerning your own conflict in the workplace “issues.”

Do You Want to See How Your Communication Impacts Your Success at Work?
CLICK HERE to take the easy and fun Communicate with Impact Quiz.  You will get your results immediately and learn more about resolving communication challenges to be more effective at work and in your life.  Sound good? 
Here’s the LINK

Interested in More Resources to Watch Your Career Grow?
Check out my Communicate with Impact Master E-Course.  It’s a great way to learn the newest strategies very fast without having to go anywhere.  You can learn at your own pace from anywhere.

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, communication strategist, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Please CLICK HERE to Leave a Comment or Question

Send me any comments that you may have about this article. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts to reduce conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is feeling stressed out…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life. Let them know about the “Communicate with Impact Weekly” so they can sign up for their own weekly articles.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist

I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

CLICK HERE to take the easy and fun Communicate with Impact Quiz.  You will get your results immediately and learn more strategies to grow your career and make time to do what you want to do in your life.  Sound good?  Here’s the LINK

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831