Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Improving Communication with a Challenging Colleague

I’m asked the following question during my corporate communication strategy sessions, “Is improving communication possible with someone who causes me such stress?”  Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get along with a certain coworker. Maybe your personalities are just too different, or perhaps your work processes and preferences conflict. Despite this fact, you still have to work together—sometimes very closely—so it is important to establish a relationship of cooperation and respect.

But cooperation and respect can be hard to maintain. The key to improving communication is to get the other person to agree on this relationship goal and then work together to keep the cooperation and respect strong. Therefore, set up a meeting with the coworker who is troubling you and together answer these seven questions. With the insight you glean from the answers to these questions, you can move toward productive results.

Improving Communication Tip 1:  What is our main challenge?

You need to pinpoint what specifically keeps you from having a working relationship based on cooperation and improving communicationrespect. Does it have to do with work styles, personalities, ethnicity/cultural differences, etc.? You need to know what you must overcome before you can actually do it.

Improving Communication Tip 2:  How are we different?

Suppose that you figure out that your conflicting work styles cause the friction. The next step is to identify specifically how your work styles are different. For example, maybe you discover that while you prefer to have email communications, your coworker finds email cold and impersonal and wants face-to-face meetings. At this point, remember not to blame each other for the difference or defend yourself. You want to find how to capitalize on your differences.

Improving Communication Tip 3:  How are we the same?

Despite your differences, you likely have a few similarities. In fact, at one point in your history together, you probably did one project together—even a small one—well. What worked during that project? The key is for you to build off your similarities to establish cooperation and respect.

Improving Communication Tip 4:  What opportunities are within our reach?

In other words, if you work together, what can you accomplish together? This question gets you to think positively about the other person so you can have the motivation to work together in a way that fosters cooperation and respect.

Improving Communication Tip 5:  How can others in the department or company help us?communication strategy

Remember that you’re not alone. Others in your department or company want you to develop mutual cooperation and respect. Identify who those people are and get their input.

Improving Communication Tip 6:  How can we communicate with each other better?

To work on your relationship, try spending some time together. This does not mean hanging out together on weekends. It simply means for you to go to lunch together periodically or agree to meet for 20 minutes every Monday to review weekly goals. Do something to get the dialog started.

Improving Communication Tip 7:  How can we amaze ourselves?

Determine what would be an amazing experience for the two of you working together. Describe it in great detail. Use that vision to guide your future working efforts. Before you know it, you’ll have a solid base of cooperation and respect from which to build.

I want to hear from you

Send me your questions or comments on a communication challenge that you’re having with a colleague.  Let me know strategies you used by improving communication with a difficult colleague.
You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my loyal readers! 🙂

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of communication, leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization experience my customized workshops here.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

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5 Easy Steps to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

Resolving conflict in the workplace is usually a huge concern in any company or group situation, conflicts are bound to happen. When two or more people with varying personalities work together, communication differences, work style preferences, and conflicting opinions are inevitable. The key is to be able to overcome any differences so everyone stays productive and the organization excels.  It’s not easy to do yet it is possible.

How about discussions on politics?  I will not cover this conflict since people don’t know how to control their anger when discussing politics with someone who has an opposing opinion.  Does this happen in your family too? 🙂

My coaching clients use these five steps to reduce conflict in the workplace whenever interpersonal conflict arises during tough conversations.  They’ll save you both time and headaches. A true benefit is that you will even gain control back with difficult people.  I hope you are eager how you can make this happen.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #1:  Identify the Situation

While this step may seem obvious, you need to remember to think in specifics. Simply saying, “The marketing department drives me crazy with their ‘pie in the sky’ thinking,” will not help you resolve the issue. You need to precisely pinpoint who is causing the conflict as well as what he or she does that upsets you.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #2:  Make an Appointment to Discuss the Conflict conflict in the workplace

Once you’ve figured out the specifics, you need to meet with the person. Go to his or her office and say, “I need to talk to you about our working relationship. Would you be willing to meet me for lunch on Thursday?” Whatever you do, don’t barge into the person’s office and start accusing him or her of things. You want to meet the person in a public area so the conversation stays civil.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #3:  Craft your “I” message

The first few words you say to the person will set the tone for the rest of the meeting. Therefore, make sure you don’t accuse the person or put him or her on the defensive by using “you” statements, as in, “You are always late for work and you’re making my job very hard.” Instead, follow this formula:

I am ______________ when ____________ because _____________.
(your responsibility)         (non-judgmental)                 (how it affects you)

For example, “I am frustrated when the team agreed to be punctual for our morning meetings because people are breaking this rule.  People who are on time are upset and this is affecting the team morale.” This approach takes the attention away from the person and focuses it on the behavior that is causing conflict.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #4:  Set your Goal

conflict in the workplaceThink of what the other person will say and what you will say in response. Additionally, plan the desired changes you would like to see the other person implement. Don’t forget that no conflict is one-sided. You must look at the other person’s side of things and find out what you can do to make work easier for him or her too.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #5:  Get closure

Before leaving the meeting, detail the specific agreements both parties have made. Shake hands, and then choose a date and time that you’ll meet again to evaluate overall progress.

Conflicts don’t have to be ugly situations that cause grief and pain. Anyone can resolve conflicts by being Direct with Respect® and by keeping an open mind. The more you work toward resolving conflict in the workplace, the more successful you’ll be in business and in life.

You may even resolve those family discussions about NOT discussing politics when the anger starts making family members feel uncomfortable! 😊

I want to hear from you

Send me your questions or comments on what is and what is not working when conflict is an issue at work.  Does leadership promote resolving the conflict or hope that it will disappear?  You’ll receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my loyal readers! 🙂

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

PS  Read more articles and listen to podcasts at our Knowledge Base Page conflict in the workplace Here.

LEARN MORE how Joyce can help your company eliminate destructive conflict in the workplace Here.

 

 

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Why Conflict in The Workplace Research Matters: Part Three

If you are a senior level executive can you relate with any of the questions below?

  • How successfully does your organization resolve conflict in the workplace?
  • Do you have to deal with strong egos from colleagues or upper management?
  • Are your managers empowered to handle conflict in the workplace?
  • Is morale an issue that never seems to improve?

If so, this article (third in the series) contains strategies that may help you solve these challenges.
Don’t worry if you didn’t read the first two articles.  You will find the links towards the end.

Conflict in the Workplace for Senior Level Executives

I asked the following questions to senior level executives:conflict in the workplace

  • What areas can help improve communication and morale?
  • What are the barriers that stop your team from performing well?
  • How can senior level executives support managers and directors?

Here are some of their answers:

  • I’m not sure if we have the right team in place, yet firing is such an issue.
  • We need to train our managers, but we aren’t getting a training budget.
  • We have some big egos in upper management, and this is creating a lack of trust in certain departments.

Solutions to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace for Senior Level Executives conflict in the workplace

1.  I’m not sure if we have the right team in place, yet firing is such an issue.
Ask your managers to dig deep by asking their direct reports what positions would showcase their skills.
This could be an easy fix when employees find departments that are best suited for their needs.
Teach your managers and directors to have those tough conversations with mediocre employees to resolve conflict in the workplace.

2.  We need to train our managers, but we aren’t getting a training budget.
Ask your managers and directors to explore online training programs.
Purchase books about advanced management or technology and conduct book reviews at meetings.

3.  We have some big egos in upper management, and this creates a lack of trust in certain departments.
This comes up during many of my coaching sessions.  I always tell my clients that this is a tough one to solve at times.  It all depends on how open upper management is to constructive feedback.

Here is an example of a successful communication from a very daring client of mine, Sue.  She was upset that her ideas were discounted at a management meeting.  These are her actual words:
“I was embarrassed when I shared my ideas at the team meeting because they were strongly rejected without any explanation.  I understand that all ideas can’t be accepted by top leadership.  There is silence in many of our meetings because the team doesn’t feel listened to by leadership.”

After this strong and important comment was made, Sue was taken very seriously and she received the respect she deserved.
   

Let’s Get Real About Conflict in the Workplace

The comments above are typical of many of my clients.  All levels of an organization share their frustration and they want to resolve this conflict in the workplace.  The challenge arises when there is no trust or employees attempt to convey ideas to their leaders and nothing changes. Senior level executives need to make sure that their managers and directors communicate in a way where their direct reports feel heard.  Do a search on my blog for numerous articles on these topics.

Read the first article in the series, “Why Conflict in the Workplace Research Matters:  Part One.”

Read the second article in the series,“Why Conflict in the Workplace Research Matters:  Part Two.”

I want to hear from you

Send me an Email with your questions or comments on your frustrations and conflict in the workplace. You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my loyal readers!  🙂

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.
Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.  Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Read more articles and listen to podcasts at our Knowledge Base Page, Conflict in the Workplace, here.

This is Joyce Weiss, Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Until next time, Remember…“You Get What You Tolerate!”

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Working Together to Build Trust in the Workplace

Bob, a top leader in his company came to me to figure out why his team was not working together.   He told me that no one gave him input and he was wondering if trust was an issue.  We worked together for 3 months to work on his communication skills.  This article describes 3 strategies that Bob used to improve his communication skills which supported his team to begin working together.

Working Together Strategy #1:  Define what trust means to the team

 

working togetherThe American Heritage Dictionary defines trust as – “the firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.”  No wonder why there’s a challenge with people working together.  It’s hard enough to rely on only one of these characteristics.

Bob asked his team the following questions:

  • What does trust mean to you?
  • How can I gain your trust as your leader?

This exercise was eye opening to everyone because each person required distinctive characteristics to gain his or her trust.  Bob called me right after he conducted this exercise and expressed how people were starting to speak more openly with each other.

Working Together Strategy #2:  Understand who is on your team

My clients have seen great results after we conduct a training using different assessments.  It’s important to identify the different behavioral styles because we are all wired differently.  Bob asked me to give each team member the DISC assessment which uncovers 4 behavioral styles.

  • Directors may want authority, challenges, freedom, logical approach and difficult assignments.
  • Interactors may want social recognition, people to talk to, freedom from details, and a chance to motivate.
  • Steadys may need status quo, time to adjust, appreciation, and work patterns.
  • Carefuls may need security, exact job descriptions, and attention to detail.

We divided the group to find people who shared the same behavioral style to discover how they are the same.  We then divided the group with the assorted styles to discover how they could improve their communication with each other.  There was a lot of laughter and deep conversation about the distinctive styles.  They figured out in a positive way why certain groups worked well together and why others drove each other crazy.

Working Together Strategy #3:  Discuss how the team can use this information to build trust

Understanding how each person defined trust and being aware of the 4 behavioral styles brought the team closer.  Bob took advantage of this positive environment to go deeper with his team.

He asked them to brainstorm the following ideas:

  • What the team needed from each other to become more productive
  • What they needed from the executive team
  • How meetings could be improved to improve time management

The ideas were discussed with the executive team and meaningful change happened.  I realize that some of you may not trust your executive team.  An executive coach would have to work with top leaders to discuss communication issues and transparency.  Leaders need to know how they can improve to help employees start working together.  Communication is a 2-way street!

I want to hear from you

Send me an email with your questions or comments on how to improve your team so they can start working together.

Read more articles and listen to podcasts at our Team Building Strategies Knowledge Base

This is Joyce Weiss, Communications Strategist and Coach

Learn how Joyce Weiss can leverage her 30+ years of communication and leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization address team building strategies here.

Until next time, Remember…“You Get What You Tolerate!”

P.S.  Feel free to call me at 800.713.1926 or send me an email to find out how the DISC assessment can help you or your team improve communication and career growth.

 

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Executive Coaching Strategies for Leaders

Executive Coaching is a powerful tool for leaders to learn.  Do any of the questions below keep you up at night?

  • Do you want to start empowering employees to divide the workload evenly and fairly?
  • Are some of your teams working harder than others?
  • Do generational or cultural differences get in the way?
  • Are you getting in the middle of communication challenges between employees and acting more like a referee?

If so continue reading!  This article will give you Executive Coaching Strategies and case scenarios for you to share with your team.  Leaders who use coaching skills are great role models for their employees. 

  • They encourage team members to resolve their own conflict. 
  • They know how to hold others accountable for their actions.
  • They set boundaries so that their team understands their expectations.

Executive Coaching

 

Executive Coaching Strategy #1:  Encourage others to resolve their own conflicts

The next time you have a meeting let your team know that they need to start resolving their own conflicts. Communicate that you want them to meet with each other first before they include you.  This Executive Coaching Strategy will allow you to do the things you want and need to do and stop being the company referee!

The following are 2 case scenarios to give to your team:
How would you resolve conflict when 2 people have an issue with each other if you were a leader? 
What patterns have you witnessed concerning generational or cultural issues?

These questions will start your team thinking how they would resolve personality conflicts if they were in charge. They will also bring forward important topics that need to be addressed.

Exectutive Coaching

Executive Coaching Strategy #2:  Hold team members accountable for their actions

Leaders need to coach their team about job performance or attitude adjustment or else these negative qualities and behaviors will continue causing stress for the company.  Use your favorite coaching stories to describe the culture you want at your organization.  Share your philosophy how negative attitudes or mediocrity will not be tolerated.  Some leaders may not discipline because they fear a backlash from employees.  This one Executive Coaching strategy will help leaders and their teams discuss how things need to change and how to move forward.

I want to hear from you

Send me your questions or comments on what is and what is not working with your organization’s communication.

Read More on Executive Coaching Strategies.

Visit our knowledge base for more articles and podcasts on Executive Coaching 

This is Joyce Weiss, Communications Strategist and Coach

Do you want to add Exective Coaching to your Leadership tool box to give you the time to do what you want and need to do?
Visit our Executive Coaching services page 

Until next time, Remember…“You Get What You Tolerate!”

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831