Experiencing a bully at work is more prevalent these days.  I’m talking about not playing nice in the sandbox at work.  Bullying doesn’t happen only at school or on social media!

Were you bullied as a child?
Are you a target for a bully at work?

I asked these questions while facilitating a Dealing with Difficult People Workshop.  It was apparent that bullies still roam freely in today’s workplace.  We went from sharing experiences to how to gain control with bullies.  Several participants didn’t realize that they were targets for a bully at work.  This article covers who bullies target and information about bullies.  Future blogs will cover how to handle the bully at work.  

Can we talk?  I teach these strategies and I was caught off guard by someone who I’ve known for a long time.  It took me a few weeks to realize that I became a target.  It took me a while to figure out how to handle the bully.  We had a productive conversation and I called it to her attention.  She didn’t realize that her behavior was bullying and even got defensive at first.  This was to be expected.  We finally had a breakthrough and resolved the issue once I was firm and did not allow her to use an excuse that she was only being sarcastic.  She thanked me at the end.  That is when I knew this corporate communication strategist walked my talk.  🙂

Dealing With a Bully Question #1:  Are You a Target? 

Ask yourself the following questions:

• Are you miserable at your job because of a bully?
• Is your work sabotaged?
• Do others think you are exaggerating about the bully?

The best and brightest are targeted.  You may pose a threat somehow to someone who is not developed as a moral human being.

Who gets targeted?

• Targets are more technically skilled than the bully
• Targets are better liked and have better social skills
• Targets have a sense of integrity

Dealing with a Bully at Work Question #2:  Are You Aware of How Serious Bullying Has Become? 

• Bullies don’t have to throw a single punch to do lasting damage to another person’s health-or your organization’s fiscal health
• Bullying is experienced by more the 1/3 of the US workforce
• Bullying is severe enough to compromise a worker’s health – especially if the culprit is your boss
• Bullying is more prevalent than illegal harassment
• 40% of targets never tell their employers
• Bullying is erroneously branded as conflict or difference in personality styles
• Bullying is a form of violence

Let’s Get Real

Bullies are not punished and are allowed to thrive in the workplace.  Many leaders don’t know how to control them or even help targeted employees.  Companies don’t have the will to stop them.  Don’t give up; find someone at work who will listen to you.  The only way we initiate change is when we don’t give in to these difficult people.

Think of someone at work who may be a target of a bully.  What can you do about this especially if you are on the leadership team?

If You Are a Target, Remember That You:

• Are not to blame
• Must not feel it’s acceptable
• Have a right to get it stopped
• Have a right to confidentiality

My personal story above illustrates that at times bullies are not aware that their mean boy or girl behavior hurt others.  I’m not making excuses for bullies!  I am mentioning this because your tough conversation may go better than you think – especially if your bully was unaware of how his or her communication caused others stress.

If you deal with a TRUE bully, you may be able to resolve the issue, you must discuss this with someone who you trust so you can start living your life again.  Don’t forget that you have your personal corporate communication strategist right here, waiting for your email.  🙂  I charge my clients for in-depth coaching phone calls, but not for one or two emails from my readers.

Look for my article on Dealing with Narcissists next week along with strategies to help work or even live with these challenging people.

I want to Hear From You

Add a comment to my blog on how you overcame a bully or what he or she did to make you a target.  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Until next time, Remember…“You Get What You Tolerate!”

Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization address workplace bullying here.

READ more articles and listen to podcasts at our knowledge base bullying in the workplace here.