Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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5 Words to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

Reducing conflict in the workplace is the most requested program from my clients.  For those of you who have attended one of these powerful sessions, you may remember a phrase that I shared with you:  You Get What You Tolerate.  I always ask my audience to express what the phrase means to them.  The discussion is usually about how we allow others to be disrespectful (bullies) or how we don’t confront poor behavior in meetings or in the workplace.  That is if we don’t address the conflict directly and respectfully. 

Hopefully, the 2 case scenarios below will address some of your concerns.

Conflict in the Workplace Scenario #1:   
Dealing with a sarcastic person

You are speaking with your team and Sarcastic Sam constantly uses his negative words to discount a creative conversation.  Remember, You Get what You Tolerate if you don’t have the tough conversation with Sam.  Sam, says, “Here we go again, you know that these meetings are always a waste of time and nothing ever changes around here.”  This is the time when you can say, “Nothing ever changes around here?”  Repeating his sarcastic accusation may show Sam that his words are not accurate.  Other team members may add to the conversation by reminding Sam about all of the changes. 

Conflict in the Workplace Scenario #2: 
Dealing with a rude person while listening to a presenter

You are in the audience listening to an interesting speaker and the person next to you continuously whispers to you that he is bored out of his mind.  Remember, You Get What You Tolerate!  You can keep silent and resent the interruption or you can say, “I don’t want to miss anything that the speaker is saying.  I do want to hear his interesting message.”  All you did was ask him to shut his mouth without being rude to him.  I don’t want/I do want is worth practicing since it is a great way to start the conversation.

More Thoughts from Joyce to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

It’s always a risk when we have tough conversations.  That’s why I share my strategies in our communication toolbox. Repeat Sarcastic Sam’s exaggerations the next time he tries to bring the team down.  This one tool is easy to use and may give you great results.

Another one of my favorite communication strategies is to make conversations safe by using  I don’t want/I do want.  Click Here to watch a video of mine on How to Improve Communication with Negative People from 2010.  The information is current even though the quality of the video is not! 🙂  Hey, we all strive to get better!  

The expression You Get What You Tolerate reminds my clients to respectfully have these tough conversations.  It’s time to say these 5 little words when you are with a rude person or an interrupter. 

I want to hear from you!
CLICK HERE to send me your questions about how to deal with the Sarcastic Sams at your workplace.  What has your experience with them? 

Do You Want to See How Your Communication Impacts Your Success at Work?
CLICK HERE to take the easy and fun Communicate with Impact Quiz. You will get your results immediately and learn more about setting boundaries to be more effective at work and in your life. Sound good?
Here’s the LINK

CLICK HERE to learn how Joyce can help your company eliminate destructive conflict in the workplace

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach

You can start tackling tough conversations with bullies, different generations, and even narcissists once you learn the powerful strategies. I will do whatever it takes to help you improve your quality of life.

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, and online professional growth coaching.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

PS  Read more articles and listen to podcasts at our Conflict in the Workplace Knowledge Page https://www.joyceweiss.com/resources/knowledge-base/conflict-resolution-in-the-workplace/

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Workplace Bullying is a Hot Training Topic

Workplace Bullying is a topic that my clients are asking me to address for their training initiatives. Bullies are really 2- year- olds disguised in adult clothing.  This article will give you 3 ideas on how to deal with workplace bullies.  I will be sharing numerous videos on bullying in the next few blog posts.  Make sure to send me your own experiences because believe me, you are NOT alone!

A few questions from Joyce: conflict suma wrestler

  • Were you bullied as a child?
  • Did you fight back or just take it?
  • Is there someone at work who is a bully to you or others?
  • Does your organization deal with bullies in the workplace?

These questions are ones that are coming up more and more when I talk to clients.  They see an increase in workplace bullying and they don’t know how to stop this conflict in the workplace. 

Workplace Bullying Idea #1:  Fear and Intimidation at Work

The mean boys or girls grow up and become even meaner as adults…especially if no one confronted this negative behavior.  Fear and intimidation become part of their daily routine even if they are in leadership roles.  Yelling, swearing, ignoring, demeaning others in front of employees, etc are all ways for bullies to control others.  It works because most people don’t know what to do.   I’ve been researching this subject lately to find new data to share with my clients.  I will write future blogs on the danger of NOT dealing with bullies.

Workplace Bullying Idea #2:  An Actual Example From a Client

Debbie called me for me to help her deal with someone on her board who was bullying her.  Debbie’s boss appreciates her and is pleased with her performance because she steadily raises money for the organization.  Her boss knows about Sean, a board member who continuously demeans her.  Debbie called me at the suggestion of her boss. Debbie has 100% support from her boss who wants her to take care of Sean on her own terms.  Sean also micromanages Debbie.  Debbie and I worked on a few techniques. 

Workplace Bullying Idea #3:  Examples That Worked for Debbie 

I don’t want to be belittled. I do want to maximize and collaborate our different skill sets, connections, and experience in raising as much money for our organization as possible.

I’m overwhelmed when I don’t get things done in a timely manner because it is not a professional reflection on our team.
I’m frustrated when I’m micromanaged by someone other than my boss because I have a proven track record of success.

 Click here for more examples of the Power Talk Formula. Is is a short video with some great techniques.

Sean folded his arms at first and did not respond.  The next board meeting his behavior changed and Debbie left a message on my voice mail at midnight because she was thrilled that she was able to turn things around.  It is a risk to speak to a bully.  At times things actually get worse especially when the are narcissists!  With practice and support, we can all discover ways to resolve these issues.

I want to hear from you!

Feel free to send me your questions or concerns either on my blog or to my email if you want more privacy. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered. Let me know what topics you want me to write about concerning your own conflict in the workplace “issues.”  Let me know if you are working with a bully or if you are one yourself.  Cicero said, “Where there is life, there is hope!” 🙂

  Click here for more examples of the Power Talk Formula. 

CLICK HERE to learn how Joyce can help your company eliminate workplace bullying

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach

You can start tackling tough conversations with bullies, different generations, and even narcissists once you learn the powerful strategies. I will do whatever it takes to help you improve your quality of life.

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, and on line professional growth coaching.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

READ more articles and listen to podcasts at our bullying in the workplace knowledge base https://www.joyceweiss.com/resources/knowledge-base/bullying-in-the-workplace/

Do you need creative gift ideas for your friends or relatives?  Click here to explore Joyce’s products that are perfect for anyone who likes books on professional growth and inspiration. joyce on bike 208x280

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Top Tips on Bullying in the Workplace and Life

One of the highlights in my career is when I go to conferences and people come up to me thanking me for writing this blog…especially the series on Bullying in the Workplace.  I don’t even know the people who tell me this, but they make the process worthwhile because I know I’m connecting with people and helping them resolve their workplace issues.  This post consists of 5 past articles on Bullying in the Workplace.  Many of you have shared your experience with me on how these difficult people are tough to deal with at work and home. I look forward to having you share which tip “speaks” to you.  You will find the comment box at the bottom.  Please share your experience.

Tip 1 on Bullying in the Workplace:  Facts About Bullies

Bullies don’t have to throw a single punch to do lasting damage to another person’s health…or your business fiscal health.  Bullying is experienced by more than 1/3 of the US workforce.  The link below will take you to the entire article.  
CLICK HERE to find more facts about Bullies.

Tip 2 on Bullying in the Workplace:  Do You Know Bullies at Work?

This article will identify types of bullies who exist.  As you watch the video and read the article start to think if you may have a bullying issue at work.
CLICK HERE to learn if you know bullies at work.

Tip 3 on Bullying in the Workplace:  Are You a Target for a Bully?

This video and article will show you if you are a target for a bully. After you watch the video please let me know if you were or are a target of a bully and how you handled it.
CLICK HERE to find out if you are a target for a bully

Tip 4 on Bullying in the Workplace:  Why Are Bullies Allowed to Get Away With Violence?

This video and article will answer a question that I get asked quite often…Why are bullies allowed to get away with their violent behavior?
CLICK HERE to discover why bullies are allowed to get away with violence.

Tip 5 on Bullying in the Workplace:  How to Change a Bullying Environment

Do you want to figure out how to change a bullying environment?
Does your company allow bullies to rule the board room?
Do you want to find out more about bullies?
If so, CLICK HERE to discover strategies

I want to hear from you!
CLICK HERE to send me your questions about your experience with bullies in the workplace.
Do you have any tips for how to initiate a conversation with a bully in the workplace?
Have you read any good business books lately about bullies? I’d love to hear about them.

Is there someone in your workplace making you miserable?
Are you a target for bullying?
Is there someone at work who pushes your hot buttons? If so check out Communicate with Impact which is a Personalized Career and Leadership Development Project which includes an individualized on-line coaching program.  Clients are supported by me for 2 months via email and instructional videos.  It’s all about engagement;  THE WOW factor is working with an experienced communication strategist and we will exceed your expectations!  The course is flexible and will work with YOUR busy schedule. 
CLICK HERE to see how others have received promotions and most importantly a peace of mind.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, and on line career development coaching.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

CLICK HERE to learn how Joyce can help your company eliminate workplace bullying

READ more articles and listen to podcasts at our bullying in the workplace knowledge base https://www.joyceweiss.com/resources/knowledge-base/bullying-in-the-workplace/

 

 

 

 

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How to Deal with a Workplace Bully: Video Interview with Terry Brock CSP, CPAE

Are you a leader or employee who works with a workplace bully?  Do you want to learn easy ways to deal with this person?  Great! This article will provide 3 techniques that you can use immediately to resolve conflict in the workplace.

Workplace Bullies Create Stress for ALL of Us

This bully could be your colleague or boss.  
The bully can also exhibit traits of narcissists which causes MANY communication and relationship issues.  
The narcissist can exist at home or work and suffer from the “I” syndrome.  
They are the drama kings or queens  who feel the world exists just for their needs.

Video Interview with International Hall of Fame Social Media Marketing Speaker – Terry Brock

My colleague and friend Terry Brock interviewed me on how to deal with these difficult people.  Terry is a syndicated columnist with business journals and author of Klout Matters.  He brings a passion for technology, a sense of history and real world business strategies.  You can reach him at 407.363.0505 and Terry@TerryBrock.com.  Enjoy the video and start thinking about who creates stress for you at work or home.  It could be a workplace bully.

How to Deal with Workplace Bullies and Narcissists

Set boundaries with bullies and narcissists.
People fear workplace bullies.  No one may have tried to stop these harmful behaviors.
Believe me when I say that they impede on your time and self-respect!

What if the Workplace Bully is Your Boss?

I suggest that you wait until the next day to have the tough conversation so you can create a results oriented discussion.  You can always start with one of my favorite expressions:  “I was caught off guard”
along with “I don’t want” and “I do want.”
“I was caught off guard when we spoke yesterday.  I don’t want to cause stress.  I do want to have an important discussion to improve communication in our department.”  If your boss is listening to you, this could be a great way to continue the conversation.  If your boss has numerous bullying behaviors it may be hard to obtain the results that you want.

Step into the GAP to Gain Control

The GAP technique is helpful to use when you don’t have the luxury to wait until the next day. 
Step back from the conversation and ask yourself how you want to respond.  You can ignore the comment from the workplace bully, ask a question, or even ask the bully what suggestions he or she has to move forward to resolve the conflict since this is very important to the morale at work.

Want to Learn More?
Remember that I recently launched Communicate with Impact.  This premier program helps people gain control of difficult people and improves the working condition. Sound Good?  CLICK HERE to see how others have improved their working condition.

I Want to Hear From You
How have you dealt with a workplace bully? Was this bully your boss?  If so how did you resolve this issue without being fired?  CLICK HERE to share your experience.

Until Next Time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach

Feel free to call me at 800.713.1926 concerning your own team, executive retreats or leadership development.

Remember…You Get What You Tolerate!

See you next week.

CLICK HERE to learn how Joyce can help your company eliminate workplace bullying

READ more articles and listen to podcasts at our bullying in the workplace knowledge base https://www.joyceweiss.com/resources/knowledge-base/bullying-in-the-workplace/

 

 

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10 Powerful Words to Keep You SANE

Spite is punishing yourself for someone else’s actions.

I hope that the title grabbed your attention!  As you know I usually coach clients to use communication strategies when others push their button. You may be surprised by this new post because I am suggesting that at times we need to keep silent.  You read this correctly.  

Do any of these sound familiar?

  • Why do you exercise so much?
  • You don’t like bananas?
  • Why do you pack so many suitcases for such a short trip?
  • You’re a moron if you vote for …

We all are judged by others at some time in our life.  I use Be Direct with Respect® or other tools during more serious scenarios and conflict in the workplace.  At times we are caught off guard when people use comments like the ones described above.  

Here are the Powerful Words to use to Keep Sane

What others think of you is NONE of your business.  Read this again to understand the depth of these words.  The next time someone judges you repeat these 10 words...What others think of you is NONE of your business (say these words internally…not to the person.)  You will remind yourself that their critique is their opinion and their opinion only.  

Verbal Aikido is another powerful tool to use when others push your button

Watch my video #2 from the series 20 tips to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace.  It will show you  how to gain control with more serious scenarios and especially with bullies.

I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. What is your experience with people who judge you.  I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered. 

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is a recognized expert on working with clients to build leadership and communication skills that make them successful in their industry. Joyce is an author, Communication Strategist, and a Certified Speaking Professional. Call 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com and explore options on working with Joyce to learn powerful techniques on tackling tough conversations.

Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Please CLICK HERE to Leave a Comment or Question

Send me any comments that you may have about this article. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts to reduce conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is feeling stressed out…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life. Let them know about the “Communicate with Impact Weekly” so they can sign up for their own weekly articles.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach

I share powerful techniques on tackling tough conversations to build employee engagement, accountability, and improve my client’s quality of life.

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, and on line professional growth coaching.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831