Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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August 29, 2023 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Resolve Conflicts: The One Question That Changes Everything

In your continuous efforts to maintain an atmosphere of cooperation and respect, how you resolve conflicts efficiently has been paramount. It’s intriguing how a single well-phrased question can often uncover the heart of the matter, leading to easy resolutions. 

Are you ready to explore this question and how it can help you as a Department Manager or Leader to de-escalate conflicts with your direct reports or even for you?

A Powerful Question that Changed the Way I Resolve Conflicts

A Department Manager invited me to speak to her department about Kicking Conflict to the Curb™. I interviewed a few people before the program to customize the session. They shared solid information on what they wanted to learn.

The opening story was one that I shared during numerous facilitation programs.  Audiences related to it and usually reacted with either smiles or quiet laughter.  Not this time. No one reacted!

A few minutes later, I asked them to divide into groups of 3 to discuss case scenarios that their peers shared in the pre-interviews. No one stood up, and they just stared at me.

Yikes! What was going on? Self-doubt started creeping into my mind. What was I doing wrong? The session ended, and I approached my client to discuss the program. She smiled and said, “Joyce, your content was great. I forgot to tell you that they had a two-hour cocktail party before your session.”

This was the beginning of my transition from a keynote speaker to a group facilitator. I learned a huge lesson from that experience.

The question that I learned was – What Don’t I Know?  This one question could have changed the entire training if I assertively asked the group, “What don’t I know?” They would have told me that they needed a nap. 😉 It had nothing to do with the content or my skills. 

The Power of What Don’t I Know to Resolve Conflicts

Think about your own conflicts and how you could use “What Don’t I Know” to stop assumptions or conflict from escalating even more. This one question gives you information that you probably didn’t think about.

It’s intriguing how a single well-phrased question can often uncover the heart of the matter, leading to resolutions that were once elusive. 

The great news is that I’ve learned how to stop any process that isn’t going well and ask, “What don’t I know?” Believe me; it has been a lifesaver during training and even with my family! 🙂

Clients discover numerous questions to ask, so they resolve conflicts and drama with their teams. They work like a charm when we add them to our toolbox and implement them.

Do you want to discover how your direct reports feel about communication in your organization? I will send you a survey to use with your team to keep them engaged. 

How do you know if this is for you? This is for you if you want to engage others to speak openly. Plus, you find the answers to “What don’t I know?” 

Reply to this mail and write “What don’t I know” in the subject line so you can Kick Conflict to the Curb™!

Who is Joyce Weiss?

Joyce is the Queen of Conflict Resolution and works with HR Pros or with their company’s growth-minded individuals directly. Who are tired of feeling invisible and overlooked. And are ready to confidently use their voice – without losing their cool.

They transform from no longer feeling invisible to having their input recognized and respected.

Joyce’s magic sauce in engaging participation is that she combines her 30 years as a storyteller, coach, and facilitator.

 

Reply to this email and write “What don’t I know?” in the subject line to receive your Survey to Help Your Team Feel Included.

 

Have a GREAT Week!
And Remember, You Get What YOU Tolerate! 

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach and Queen of Conflict Resolution

 

Filed Under: communication secrets, Resoving conflict in the workplace
Tagged With: conflict in the workplace, effective communication

March 28, 2023 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Secrets to Stop Taking Things Personally During Conflict |Video

  • Do you need a reminder about not taking things personally when someone pushes back?
  • Is it time to have a  difficult conversation with your boss?
  • Are you ready to use your voice even if you fear the consequences?

If so, you are in the right place!

Laneshia Collier, Human Resource Professional, was a guest on my show, Kick Conflict to the Curb™. She spoke about a difficult conversation that she had with her boss. She knew it was necessary to take this risk so both could move forward.

Laneshia discovered that her manager didn’t know what she was responsible for in the company. He didn’t notice the positive changes that Laneshia and her team made for the company. And she knew that she needed to educate her boss. 😉 The team felt ignored and underappreciated.  It was worth the risk of retaliation – which didn’t happen. The result is that her manager listened and appreciated the feedback.

It takes courage to speak up and address tough issues, but it’s better than letting resentment build up. Remember, honest communication is key in any relationship, even in the workplace.

Not taking things personally is a skill that takes constant practice – reminding yourself that it usually has NOTHING to do with you!

We all Have to Engage in Difficult Conversations in Our Life

Whether with a friend, family member, or colleague at work, these conversations can be uncomfortable and even painful. However, one of the most important things to remember during these conversations is not to take things personally.

When we engage in difficult conversations, it’s natural for emotions to run high. We may feel hurt, angry, or frustrated; taking these emotions personally is easy. However, when we take things personally, we may react in ways that are not productive or even harmful.

How to Avoid Taking Things Personally

  1. Practice active listening: One of the best ways to avoid taking things personally is to practice active listening. This means truly listening to the other person’s words without interrupting or getting defensive. When we actively listen, we can gain a better understanding of the other person’s perspective and respond in a more constructive way.

  2. Remember that it’s not about you: When someone is upset or angry, it’s easy to assume it’s because of something we did. However, it’s important to remember that the other person’s emotions are not necessarily about us. They may be dealing with their own personal issues or frustrations.

  3. Stay calm and focused: When emotions run high, it’s easy to get caught up in the moment and react emotionally. However, it’s important to stay calm and focused during difficult conversations. Take a deep breath, count to ten, and stay centered.

  4. Separate facts from opinions: During difficult conversations, separating facts from opinions is important. When we focus on the facts, we can have a more productive conversation and avoid taking things personally. Ask questions to clarify any misunderstandings and try to stay objective.

Difficult conversations are a part of life and don’t have to be destructive. By practicing active listening, remembering that it’s not about you, staying calm and focused, and separating facts from opinions, you can have a more productive and positive conversation. Remember, difficult conversations can lead to growth and understanding, so don’t be afraid to engage in them.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me an email HERE

Are you ready to disrupt your status quo?
Discover what it costs you when you don’t know how to resolve conflict.
Money? Relationships? Inner Peace?

Who is Joyce Weiss?

Joyce is the Queen of Conflict Resolution and works with Department Managers and Leaders and Growth-Minded Individuals tired of feeling invisible or overlooked and ready to confidently use their voice – without losing their cool. The result is their input and contribution are recognized and respected. And their expertise is in constant demand. 

Are you ready to confidently use your voice without losing your cool? Visit www.KickConflicttotheCurb.com and grab your copy of the communication assessment.

You will discover how your communication impacts your success at work.

I’m confident you will thank me later!

You want this because you’ll: 

  • Have increased self-confidence because you no longer dread difficult conversations.
  • Experience more enjoyment at work because the drama has been eliminated.
  • No longer feel invisible; instead, your input is recognized and respected.

If this is something that you want, all you have to do is go to www.KickConflicttotheCurb.com

If you already took the Kick Conflict to the Curb Assessment and are ready for the next level of support, email me at Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.
I will send you my online calendar to schedule a call.

What will you get from the call?

  • Get extreme clarity on one of your current challenges
  • Understand what is necessary to get you from where you are to where you want to be.
  • Create an action plan, so you know what your next steps are

THIS IS NOT a SALES CALL! 🙂

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

Remember, You’ll Get What You Tolerate!

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

Filed Under: Communication Strategies, difficult conversations
Tagged With: conflict in the workplace, effective communication

October 4, 2022 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Important Questions to Ask When You Stay Silent

  • important questionsAre you ready to discover important questions to help you use your voice?
  • Do you stop yourself from speaking up at times?

This short article describes how you break this pattern easily.

Anon sure has this right! We can’t resolve our conflict if we don’t express ourselves. Coaching clients share that they fear retaliation or rejection if they voice their opinions. 

I ask Clients the Following Important Questions:

  • “What do you want to say?”
  • “What are you afraid will happen if you share your voice?”
  • “What do you hope will happen if you speak up?”

It’s risky every time we open our mouths! Those who know me realize what my next few words will be! It’s worth the risk.

Two Important Questions for You to Ask Yourself:

  1. “Do I matter?”
  2. “Am I heard?”

These questions are two major parts of this communication equation. We find it easier to speak up once we tell ourselves that feeling heard is an important personal value.

We need to decide if resolving the conflict is worth the risk. Once clients weigh the pros and cons, the pros usually win.

I offer my loyal blog readers a VIP coaching rate. Contact me to discuss how only a few coaching sessions can help you start using your voice without losing your cool.
The Conflict Dynamic Profile is a great way to start. You take the profile, and we review your results for only one session. 

Let’s Stay Connected

  • Please comment about this week’s post.
  • How does it resonate with you?
  • When did you speak your voice even though it was a risk?
  • Let’s start an important conversation.

You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Here’s a link for short articles on reducing inner stress. Happy reading! 🙂

I Would Love YOU to Be a Guest on My Live Broadcast: Kick Conflict to the Curb™

I’m always looking for engaging guests on my newly launched LIVE BROADCAST: Kick Conflict to the Curb™. Let me know if you want to discuss the possibility of being a guest. I’ll showcase your skills and expertise. The theme is resolving conflict – what a shock, right? 🙂

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

P.P.S. Subscribe to my YouTube channel for more tips and strategies for you or your direct reports
to reduce stress and conflict.

You’ll find playlists on dealing with bullies, tough conversations, and interviews with thought-provoking Department Managers and Leaders and leaders.

Thanks for reading, and remember: You get what YOU tolerate!

 

Filed Under: Coaching Strategies, important questions
Tagged With: effective communication, how to improve communication skills

August 2, 2022 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

5 Quick Tips to Confidently Speak UP in Conflict

What do the words “Confidently Speak Up” mean to you?

Are you thinking of a bully or other difficult people at work or home?

You’ll find out what these three words mean to me after you watch the video below.

Audacious Confidence™ Growth Expert, Alicia Couri, host of her TV show, Unleash your Audacious Confidence invited me to be a guest on her show. The topic was Confidence in Conflict.

You’ll find the episode when you see Confidence in Conflict on July 25, 2022.

https://winwinwomen.tv/show/unleash-your-audacious-confidence

What Happens When We Don’t Confidently Speak Up?

  • It affects us mentally, physically, and emotionally
  • We stay up at night and can’t stop thinking about what we need to say
  • Doctors warn us that stress is getting us sick

We Need to Make a Change When We Notice the Signs

Our negative mindset keeps us stuck.

We allow others to control us, especially if the bully is our boss, a relative, or a friend. 

The signs can be any of the following:

  • Ruminating messages that go on and on
  • Being uncomfortable around that person
  • Feeling depressed
  • Avoiding conflict is not confident behavior

How to Make Conversations Safe to Confidently Speak Up

Nancy, a coaching client, had a bully as a friend. Nancy came to me because she was sick and tired of his constant judgment. 

She used the following strategy from the Weiss Communication Success Plan:

I don’t want to create stress between us. I do want to stop our constant disagreement and move forward.

The bully stopped his negative behavior and judgment. He started to respect Nancy because she stood up for herself.

Body Language Needs to Be Strong When We Confidently Speak Up

  • Stand up straight
  • Use a strong voice
  • Look into the bully’s eyes
  • Keep your hands open, which shows you are embracing the relationship
  • Be calm

All of these body language skills show that you mean it! This may disarm the bully from attacking you in the future. 

Thanks to Truth and Deception Detection  Expert Janette Ghedotte for sharing her Accurate Body Language Strategies with me during her boot camps.

Don’t Use These Tips When The Bully is a HOT HEAD

Especially when they are extremely angry. And if their nostrils are open and close like a bull.

This is not the time to have a conversation. You can say, “Let’s table the discussion for tomorrow.”

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

You are my loyal readers and are always welcome to contact me for a 20-minute exploratory session on any frustration or conflict you want to resolve. Let’s start a great
discussion to discover how you can stop feeling stuck anywhere in your life.

Are you ready to discover how you react before, during, and after conflict?
Do you want to reduce your inner stress by discovering blind spots and what triggers set you off? 

Send me an email, and let’s discuss how the Conflict Dynamic Profile can help you resolve your conflict and improve relationships.

I’m always looking for engaging guests on my newly launched LIVE BROADCAST: Kick Conflict to the Curb. Let me know if you want to discuss the possibility of being a guest. I’ll showcase your skills and expertise. The theme is resolving conflict – what a shock, right? 🙂

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

P.P.S. Subscribe to my YouTube channel for more tips and strategies for you or your direct reports to reduce stress and conflict.
You’ll find playlists on dealing with bullies, tough conversations, and interviews with thought-provoking Department Managers and Leaders and leaders.

Thanks for reading, and remember: You get what YOU tolerate!

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: confidence, conflict resolution skills
Tagged With: bullying in the workplace, effective communication, resolve conflict and interpersonal issues

May 31, 2022 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Turn a Negative Situation Around to Reduce Conflict

Coaching clients share their frustration with not being able to turn negative situations around more and more these days. When a conflict occurs, many people believe they can’t say or do anything to fix it.  Plus, if they just lay low, they can escape any repercussions.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Turning a blind eye to things or hoping for a negative situation to resolve on its own will only lead to frustration.

This post covers how to handle an internal negative situation.  Next week you’ll receive strategies on how to resolve an external negative situation.

Here’s An Easy Tip to Resolve a Negative Internal Situation

An internal situation could be a co-worker who is continually negative and dragging the team down. Or it could be an employee who’s lazy. Unfortunately, most people think dealing with such internal situations is the manager’s job only. But in fact, anyone can take steps to address such issues.

Simply saying something like, “I don’t want to create stress between us. I do want to discuss why our department needs to work together. Especially because we don’t have the manpower as we did two years ago.”

This statement helps diffuse someone’s negativity. Granted, you can’t expect to step in and be the super-hero who saves the company from negative people. You can have the courage to step up and state the facts in a Direct with Respect® way.

Some people are so used to negative people or a destructive culture that they just stay stuck. It’s a risk that’s worth taking.  If you don’t – and you chicken out now– you’ll pay the price later.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. I decided to take a risk and start interviewing thought-provoking leaders LIVE on my show: Kick Conflict to the Curb™.  Please join me on June 1, 2022, at 1 pm Eastern. You’ll hear Diane DiResta share powerful strategies on Confident Communication. Hey, how can I talk with my coaching clients or loyal blog readers to take risks if I’m stuck in the same routine?
Hope to see you there!

negative situation

Filed Under: be bold, conflict resolution skill
Tagged With: conflict in the workplace, effective communication

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Phone: 248-681-5831

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