Thanks for the feedback about enjoying parts 1 and 2 of the series “Coaching Strategies to Improve your Communication – Big Time!”
I received this great information from Michael Bungay Stanier who is part of the World of Business and Executive Coaching Summit. I share the best information from the Summit with you because if I find it fascinating, I sure hope you do too. 🙂
Week 1 is about the Tell It Communicator. Week 2 describes the Save IT Communicator. The links to both of the articles are below:
Coaching Strategies #1: Description of Control It Communicators
Control It Communicators maintain their control 100% of the time. Tell It Communicators give solutions and are all-knowing. They don’t maintain control as much as the Control It Communicators.
My class – Kick Conflict to the Curb enjoyed an energetic discussion on the difference in all 3 communicators. They had to decide which style was most like them. Last week I revealed that I’m more of a Save It Communicator and rescue family and friends from getting hurt. I now know that they don’t need or appreciate rescuing! Who knew? I thought it was a good thing. Each person has at least one style and could use all 3 at different times. We went deep during the class and discovered that every participant learned that their style had both prizes and punishments.
Coaching Strategies #2: Punishments of being a Control It Communicator
- You won’t get to the real issues because there is no discussion
- Bottlenecks are formed due to a lack of open communication, trust, and creativity
- People who are controlled end up closing down and resentment appears
Coaching Strategies #3: Prizes of being a Control It Communicator
- Control It Communicators think that their power will make others feel safe
- Time is saved because there is not a discussion – not really a prize. 🙁
- Control It Communicators feel strong and efficient
So Joyce, What Do You Think About Tell It, Save It, and Control It Communicators?
I highly recommend Michael Bungay Stanier’s book, Taming The Advice Monster. It’s a great read. The information from this article came from Michael’s lecture at the Coaching Summit.
At times in our life, we can be all 3 communicators. We usually use one communication style more than others.
Here’s a great exercise that you can use with your family, work team, or friends – that is if they are open to these kinds of discussions. First, describe all 3 communication styles.
- Have everyone decide what kind of communication style they use
- Ask them to write down what communication style they think the other members use
- This is the moment when you need to act like a coach
- Let them know that this discussion needs to be positive without blaming and judgment
- Hopefully, the discussion will be light-hearted
- Start discussing the prizes and punishments for all 3 styles. You will find details in the 3 articles and the 2 links at the end of this article
- Next comes the best part. Everyone shares how they can change their style and what awareness they learned about themselves
You can always ask me to help you with this exercise during an online customized training for you and your team. We will have an engaging experience and you will get long-lasting results. Sound good? Call me at 800.713.1926 or send me an email HERE.
Let’s Stay Connected
Please share which communication style you “own!”
- What did you learn about yourself?
- How will you use this information to grow professionally?
- How do you think this style has held you back?
Send me an email HERE if you have a communication issue that you want to resolve. You are not imposing if you send me information or ask questions. I love connecting with all of you.
Hope You Have a Great Week!
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Master Coach and Communication Strategist
Remember, You Get What YOU Tolerate!