Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Video Interview with Brennan O’Leary on Sucesses and Challenges at Work

I had the pleasure of interviewing Brennan O’Leary, Senior HR Professional at Willis Towers Watson on the successes and challenges at work. Brennan is in charge of onboarding and new employee training.

He is the ultimate interview guest. And shares numerous strategies that work as a Senior HR Professional. Additionally, he has a great sense of humor that creates a PERFECT interview.  Enjoy the video and please add your comments to continue the conversation.

 

What challenges at work do your colleagues experience?

Our work is driven by clients. They expect a quick turnaround. There are times when client projects come in all at once. As a result, this leads to exhaustion for our colleagues. And we know that this is the business we are in and that we need to deliver. We do what we can to help out colleagues deal with burnout.  

 How does leadership help colleagues deal with challenges at work?

Consulting can have erratic hours. We need a balance. Our leadership gives colleagues the opportunity to get balance. They know it isn’t easy at times. 

Everyone works at home. Before we had happy hour and social community outreaches. The team enjoyed these events and appreciated our efforts. This has stopped since we are working at home. Our culture has helped us get through a tough year. We still have the work. Yet we are not getting together face to face. 

At times colleagues take on too much. Leadership encourages them to stand up for themselves. Some don’t know how to set boundaries.

How have you dealt with bullies in your life? challenges at work | bullies in the workplace

We have to be adaptable and work through the situation. The bully won’t go away. We need to figure out the best way to deal with him or her. It helps when we put ourselves in the bully’s shoes.  What’s going on in their life? See why they are acting out. 

What strategies do you use when you work with new hires to reduce challenges at work?

We have honest conversations. And give them the opportunity to speak up first. The new hire may feel intimidated if the Senior person talks first.

I love lifting others up. That’s what good leaders do. Get others involved so they have a voice.

It’s great to hear their suggestions when we ask them, “What can we do better for next year that we are not seeing?” We tell new hires that the onboarding is based on feedback from new hires. And we fix the challenges from their feedback.

We take for granted what is obvious to us because we’ve been working here for years.  The basic tasks are not obvious to new people. Such as technical issues and knowing where everything is located. Leadership communicates that after time, they will feel more confident.

We encourage them to use their voice so they feel heard.

If we met for coffee, what burning question would ask me?

What advice would you give your 18-year-old self if you had a time machine and you could go back?

I told Brennan, “Never let obstacles stop you. How dare you take that negative advice and believe it. Just continue – no matter what. And, don’t let anyone discourage you.”

I asked Brennan the same question and he replied, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Stop dwelling on something negative that happened.  Everyone feels stupid at times. Learn from the stupid mistake. 

{Hey dear readers, do you now see why I’m sharing Brennan’s interview with you? :)}

What topics would you like me to cover in future videos?

What are the biggest challenges at work that Department Managers and Leaders will face in 4 years?

Let’s Stay Connected

Thanks to Brennan O’Leary for such an engaging interview. I will be collecting the newest information from all my interviews and sharing the video and content with you. Topics will cover the successes and challenges at work. And, you can learn from the best HR professionals in the business!

Please share your thoughts about Brennan’s interview. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Let’s brainstorm any conflict you are experiencing during a complimentary 20-minute laser-focused coaching call.
Here’s my calendar. Let’s reduce your inner stress!

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email.

Discover how easy this process HERE.  Plus these packages fit with anyone’s budget and schedule.

 

 

 

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Keep Toxic People from Ruining Your Holidays | Part 2

This article is part 2 in the series on Keeping Toxic People from Ruining Your Holidays.

You’ll find a link to part 1 towards the end of this article which explores tips 1 and 2.

Tip 3 for Keeping Toxic People From Ruining Your Holidays

Knowing what kind of behavior makes these toxic people so irritating is an important step.

  • Do they usually arrive late?
  • Are they oblivious to how their hurtful behavior affects others?
  • They constantly judge or hurt others. And, you are emotionally drained with this insensitive behavior. 
  • Being the center of attention is their #1 motivation.  Additionally, they constantly interrupt others.

Tip 4 for Keeping Toxic People From Ruining Your Holidays

toxic family members

Don’t sugarcoat how obnoxious their behavior is and how it impacts the gathering. 

Speak with a trusted family member or friend to discuss how to stop letting these toxic people get away with their rudeness.

Set boundaries as to what you will and will not tolerate.

Set time limits: if dinner starts at 6 P.M., start exactly at that time and let everyone know if they are late, dinner starts without them. 

Tip 5 for Keeping Toxic People From Ruining Your Holidays

Do expect to have a great get-together. And, if someone is detracting from that, resolve that this person will be “educated” on these boundaries. 

Always remember that you have absolutely no social or familial obligation to be victimized—ever.

Here’s the link to part 1 in the series.

Joyce, How Can You Help Us Deal with These Difficult People?

I’m glad you asked!

A client of mine had the following conversation with a relative a couple of weeks after Thanksgiving.

“Tim, we’ve had the same conversation for years on how politics are off the table during our family parties. Our family is sensitive to the fact that we have several varying opinions about politics. We agreed NOT to bring up these topics because they lead to much discomfort. 

I’m frustrated when you and I have had this same conversation because the same negativity occurs every year. I love getting the gang together. It’s a yearly highlight.

Next year you will not be invited because it’s more important than ever before to enjoy each other’s company and feel safe around each other without judgment.”

You may wonder what happened after this tough conversation. The toxic relative found another group to join. This was extremely hard for my client. Yet, the great news is that she felt empowered because she was direct, respectful, and honest. 

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

So what about you? Do feel that my coaching advice was too tough?
Can you see changing it around to fit your communication style? Or, will you continue letting these rude individuals take over?

The choice is yours. You know I was going to end with that comment. 😉

Let’s brainstorm any conflict you are experiencing during a complimentary 20-minute laser-focused coaching call.
Here’s my calendar. Let’s reduce your inner stress!

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email to discover how easy this process is. Plus these packages fit with anyone’s budget and schedule.
 Visit our coaching page to see your options. 

 

 

 

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Get Ready to Take Control of Difficult Conversations

Difficult conversations plague professionals across the board. Supervisors reprimand you in front of others. Coworkers tactlessly reject your ideas. Additionally, clients lash out at people to get what they want.

Rather than pushing back or getting even,  you can gain control of the situation. In fact, seething in silence doesn’t help to diplomatically deal with unkind people. The solution is called Verbal Aikido. It’s a communications technique that won’t get you fired.

What is Aikido?

Aikido is a Japanese form of self-defense. It uses non-resistance to debilitate an opponent’s strength. The Aikido practitioner seeks to counter attacks without bringing harm to the attacker. And creates balance. In other words, when pushed, you pull; when pulled, you push.

This technique is just as effective with verbal attacks. It allows you to respond to a verbal attack by accepting the comment. Additionally, redirecting it, and reaffirming your stance in a positive manner. Avoid being hostile and building emotional barriers!

Verbal Aikido Basics to Get in Control of Difficult Conversations difficult people

The cardinal rule of Verbal Aikido is to not repeat the accusation. By doing so, you absorb the negative message.

Verbal Aikido EXAMPLE #1 to Gain Control of Difficult Conversations:

If someone questions a business purchase with an accusation, “Why are you wasting the company’s money?” Don’t respond by yelling, “I’m not wasting the company’s money! I need these items to perform my job!”

Such a response reinforces the blame on you. Instead, a Verbal Aikido practitioner would redirect the comment by saying, “Let me tell you how I invested the company’s money.”

Your Verbal Aikido response also reaffirms your control over unneeded emotional responses. And gives the other person nothing to push against.

Verbal Aikido EXAMPLE #2 to Gain Control of Difficult Conversations:

Suppose you’re giving constructive feedback to a male coworker who tells you, “What I did is perfectly fine. You’re just too emotional. All you women are alike.”

Instead of becoming “heated” and reinforcing his claim, say, “I agree. I can overreact at times. Let me explain why I feel this way about the situation.”

This response accepts the basis of the situation without absorbing the negative aspects. In fact, you redirect the accusation by agreeing. The response also reaffirms the other person’s feelings of frustration. As a result, you diffuse the confrontation and can work toward repairing the situation.

How would you respond during either one of these 2 examples about Verbal Aikido?

Please share your thoughts and let’s continue this important conversation.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How can you see using Verbal Aikido? 
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com to discover how easy this process is. Plus these packages fit with anyone’s budget and schedule.
 

Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call

 

 

 

 

 

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An Inspirational Interview with Lea Tran | Video

Welcome to Kick Conflict to the Curb: Stomp Out Your Stress.

Are you ready for an inspirational interview this week?

You will find the inspirational interview that I had with Lea Tran, speaker and transformation coach. Lea and I are in the same group: Video Rock Starz. I knew that Lea was going to be a guest for Kick Conflict to the Curb the moment I met her.

We talked about these exciting topics:

  • The importance of opening up dialogue with our family.
  • Lea’s story how she and her family escaped from Vietnam.
  • We cover so much more on the video yet I wrote the highlights below.

 

About Lea Tran

Lea Tran is a former “Boat person” refugee from Vietnam, a dynamic keynote speaker, TEDx speaker, and the author of “I Did Not Miss the Boat”. It highlights her personal struggles to overcome the trauma of war, poverty, and social isolation.

Her story is an important reminder of what makes America truly a great nation. A country that gives promise to everyone who is willing to fight for a second chance in life.

A graduate of Villanova University, Lea started her career as a medicinal chemist for seventeen years and owned a high-end drapery business for ten years in the Greater Philadelphia Area.

As a speaker and a transformation coach, Lea inspires her audience to get out of their comfort zone, to embrace change in uncertain times, creating unexpected opportunities that will propel them forward.

Questions I Asked During Lea’s Inspirational Interview inspirational interview

  1. Tell us about the title of your book, I Did not Miss the Boat.

    It’s all about my family’s escape from Vietnam. My father built a boat that saved 495 people including my family. The boat gave us freedom. We all need to live our lives as we want – that’s total freedom.

  2. Lea, you became confident using your voice. Why did it take so long to write your story?

    It usually takes people 40 years to find their story and voice. That’s how long it took me to find my story and start using my voice.

  3. Tell us about your podcast, Family Roots.

    I wrote the book to find out about myself. The podcast is all about that piece of history.

    My son, Alexander learned about his family after he read, I Did Not Miss the Boat. He started asking me questions about the story. As a result, he created a podcast – Family Roots.

    This started a journey with both of us learning about each other.

    We now understand how different our upbringing has been.

How Can Your Book Help Viewers?

  • The book helps open up the dialogue for other families to start asking questions about their family.
  • All the memories from my childhood were not positive. This is typical of many families. We need to start having these heart-to-heart conversations – no matter what stories we discover.
  • Be proud of your roots and be comfortable in your own skin.
  • Don’t feel judged when you tell others about your background.
  • Reconnect with your roots
  • Open up the dialogue. Talk to your parents and grandparents. I now know that they did the best that they could. They didn’t have the freedom as I have.
  • There’s always some conflict in the family. We are all different in our upbringing.

I read I Did Not Miss The Boat and Highly Recommend It

It’s a great read for people who are curious about what refugees have to go through to find freedom post-Vietnam war.

  • The book triggers a lot of important conversations about diversity and inclusion.
  • It embraces change.
  • Conflict prevention is another theme.
  • Taking action to move your life forward is part of Lea’s message.

Her memoir is a perfect book to gift to friends and family for the holidays. It’s also a great read for book clubs.

You can get an autographed and gift-wrapped copy by going to LeaTran.com. Amazon.com also carries it.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does this inspirational interview with Lea Tran resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

What questions would you like to find out about Lea Tran’s journey? I will include your questions in my next interview with Lea.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com to discover how easy this process is. Plus these packages fit with anyone’s budget and schedule.

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What is Netflix Squid Game? Why Is It So Popular? – Part 2

Have you ever watched a TV show or movie and knew exactly what motivated you to see it?

Maybe you were drawn into the romantic plot, haunting thriller, impressing drama, thrilling mystery, or comedy.

Last week I wrote about the Squid Game. And, this week I have more answers on why it’s the most-watched show ever on Netflix.

Revisit or read article 1:  Squid Game Is a Hit. Here’s Why It’s So Popular.

I promise NOT to give any spoiler alerts for those who haven’t seen Squid Game yet.

The main plot is that 456 humans are driven to play a game of death and survival in the hope of winning $38 million. While other characters feel entitled to watch their fellow beings squirm in fear and misery.

The Conflict and Themes in Squid Game squid game | coaching strategies | conflict in the workplace | humor | communication strategies

There are so many themes in this 9 part series.

  • Social instability
  • Study of Human Beings
  • Good versus evil
  • Inequality
  • Insecurity
  • Mind games
  • Poverty and desperation
  • The meaning of life
  • Can money bring us happiness

How Money Plays a Role in the Squid Game Conflict 

Many of us have experienced how money can turn us against one another in our families. 

Whether we have too much or too little can ruin our lives.

Additionally, the ending of the movie was fascinating and troublesome. No, I won’t disclose this. 🙂

Questions from You About the Conflict in Squid Game

Thanks to several of you who sent me a private email with your questions.

  1. Is it safe to watch with my kids?

I don’t want to sound like a politician. Especially because it depends on your children’s age and tolerance to violence. 
I suggest that you watch 2 episodes to make sure you are comfortable giving the green light to your kids to watch the Squid Game.

     2. My friends tell me how they couldn’t stop watching it. Tell us why Joyce.

I really can’t tell you why. Additionally, I know that I’m one of those who was curious enough to keep on watching it.

Many of you know that I’m a conflict resolution coach. Curiosity is in my DNA. My son suggested that I “try” watching it since he knows his mom. 
I’m open and eager to learn new research about conflict. That’s one of my motivations for starting this blog in 2010.

All I can say is that I completed the first season in 5 days. And was shocked at the ending. 

     3. Joyce, is it worth watching Squid Game?

It’s worth watching if you can stand all the violence and tragedy.

It’s a test in NOT judging others. We have no idea how we would act if we were one of the 456 players.

It’s not a show to enjoy. Even though I laughed a few times. I warn you NOT to watch it before bedtime – especially if you have an addictive personality. Don’t blame me if you stay up late binge-watching. 🙂

A Curious Conversation at the Hair Salon

My hairstylist and I were discussing the plot since she decided not to watch it. Six people in the salon heard us talking and they came running up to us.
The conversation was so engaging. All six of these people felt the same that I did. None of us could give a logical reason why we were so drawn to the series. Yet, we couldn’t stop talking about the plot.

An interesting fact is that the ages ranged from 16 years old to 85 in this spirited beauty salon discussion.

Final Thoughts About the Conflict in the Squid Gamejuggle it all |squid game

I repeat that curiosity is an important part of my thinking process. My natural skill is to coach others to find their own answers. All I do is ask questions 🙂

I had to find out why there was so much hype about this show. 

Sure I started out watching just to explore this series.

The meaning of life became apparent at the end. What does our life mean? What do we still need to achieve or do to feel satisfied? 

I found many answers a few days after I finished watching the last (9th) episode. 

Clients ask me to support them with stressful situations in their life. 

One of the questions they delve into is, “How can I learn from some major mistakes that I made?” Or, “Conflict is standing in my way and I feel stuck. How can I move forward either in my career or with my personal relationships?”

A big takeaway for me is to stop judging ourselves. And, if possible, how to accept others’ differences and decisions. Both of these are not easy to do. Additionally, this is not new for any of us. Yet, judgment gets in our way during the conflict.

One of my many strategies is that real growth comes after we fail, learn from our mistakes, and stay curious even during tough times.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

P.P.S. I coach emerging leaders, executives, teams, and Human Resource Professionals to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send me an email
Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call

 

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831