Bullying Strategies is a topic that my clients constantly ask me to speak about to improve morale. Sure bullies exist in the workplace. My question is do you deal with a bully who happens to be your friend or relative? If so the video and article below will give you 5 strategies to help you gain more control. You will learn how to deal with a bully who may be in your personal life. Are you ready for 5 strategies to help you gain back control and most importantly…your respect? These strategies will support you especially when there are disagreements about politics.
Bullying Strategies #1: Make the conversation safe
Start out the conversation with the bully by using “I don’t want to…I do want to…”
“I don’t want to create stress between us.
I do want to have an open and honest conversation with you.”
Bullying Strategies #2: Use the power talk formula
“I was upset at the party when I was attacked in a critical tone of voice because I was sharing my opinion. I was pushed and became defensive. I was caught off guard and thought about what happened later on in the evening. Friends don’t judge friends. We all disagree at times and that’s what makes our relationships stronger.”
Bullying Strategies #3: Be specific describing the bullying behavior
At times people are not aware when they roll their eyes or sound judgmental. There are times when they know exactly how they are acting! This is the time in the conversation that you give details on the bullying behavior that caused you to become defensive.
Bullying Strategies #4: If necessary talk about blind spots
If the person denies his or her actions, this is the time for you to talk about blind spots. Tread carefully with this strategy. This is an advanced coaching skill that can either bring you success or failure depending on how you spin this part of the discussion. It’s a great tool to use when the other person is open to your feedback. Don’t use this when he or she comes defensive and starts closing down.
I feel it’s worth the risk because this is when you can go deeper into the conversation.
Bullying Strategies #5: Try to remember that it’s usually a weakness of the bully when he or she attacks
It usually has nothing to do with the target. You can even ask the bully if he or she is ok since you have never experienced this behavior in the past from this person. This will take the focus off of you. The bully may open up or not. The main idea is that you expressed your concern and stood up for yourself.
Thoughts from Joyce
Many of my clients share that they experience bullies more and more these days. The good news is that there are many great books and resources on bullying. Don’t let the bully harass you. Set the stage immediately that the conversation will be safe, use be direct with respect®, be as detailed as possible to make your feedback clear, discuss blind spots if necessary, and remember that You Get What You Tolerate!
I want to hear from you!
CLICK HERE to send me your questions about bullies in your personal life. Please share how you have resolved these issues.
Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach
I look forward to helping my clients resolve their communication issues either at home or work. The result is that they stop thinking about the stress at night and get a better night’s sleep! 🙂
PS Do you want to read previous articles on Bullying Strategies?
Read more Top Tips on Bullying in the Workplace and Home