Joyce Weiss, Author at Joyce Weiss

August 16, 2021 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Stop Your Self-Doubt with Jerks: How to Deal with Jerks#2

Do you want to stop your self-doubt with jerks?
Are you ready to go deep to stop your self-doubt?

If so, this article is just what your Dr. ordered.

Last week I shared a true story about my client Bob whose co-worker, Gary, caused havoc for him at work. Gary actually walked into Bob’s office to step on Bob’s foot purposely.
Here’s the link for those who didn’t see this article: Stop the Rudeness in Your Life: How to Deal with Jerks #1

I asked my readers to think about what they would do if they were Bob. Here’s my take along with some of my readers’ responses:

Stop Your Self-Doubt Strategy #1

Don’t reply with a sarcastic or quick retort.
This is exactly how the Garys in the world want you to react. Do your best to continue what you were doing and walk away.

I realize that having Gary step on Bob’s foot would create a bit of a problem. Gary is waiting for Bob to push back. It takes a lot of practice to walk away and not react.

You may want to stand up for yourself which is fine. Just make sure and don’t become sarcastic or loud.
Stay in control and say something like, “Gary, this situation is getting out of hand. And we need to figure out how to move forward. We are on the same team. Let’s meet tomorrow after things cool down.”

You will react in many different directions. I vote for calmness and control.

Please let us know how you would handle this situation in the comment section below.

Stop Your Self-Doubt Strategy #2

Start documenting Gary’s rude/bullying behavior. Show your boss that you are not a tattletale. You are standing up for yourself and asking for guidance.

If you work for a jerk, you may need to look for another job. Especially if the stress is affecting your health.

More Thoughts on How to Stop Your Self-Doubt

This series is a personal one for me. I’ve experienced numerous people do their best to bring me down. And they won for many years. I used to become defensive and didn’t like that at all. Welcome to the beginning of my quest to figure this stuff out.

Here are some examples:

Scenario #1

“Joyce, why do you wear makeup when you go grocery shopping?”

This used to bother me. I never want to be a diva. It finally dawned on me that self-care is something important to me. And I share this with coaching clients who need to hear this message.
Self-doubt disappears when we figure out our values. And what’s important to us. Other people have their own agenda and they project their issues onto us!

Scenario #2

“Joyce, why do you read books on psychology and not fiction when you’re on vacation? You need to chill more”

Years ago, I was upset with this kind of question. I thought that there was something strange about me because I didn’t make time to read romance novels or mysteries.

It didn’t take me long to figure out that comments like these were made by former friends who were upset with something in their life. They tried to put me down because of their own insecurities. My passion for supporting others and constant learning is who I choose to be. That’s my final answer! 🙂

Stay tuned for more of my stories and how I changed from feeling unconfident to becoming the Queen of Conflict Resolution. I will also share another true story about jerks and how they impacted my clients – in a negative way. You’ll also discover how they changed from feeling self-doubt to total confidence.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Here’s the link for those who didn’t see this article: Stop the Rudeness in Your Life: How to Deal with Jerks #1

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach? It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com for a Free 20 – minute discovery call.

August 10, 2021 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life: How to Deal with Jerks #1

I see that this headline caught your attention!

Do you see more rudeness lately?
Are you ready to deal with jerks in your life – without being a jerk?
What stories do you want to share about these rude people?

I answered “yes” to all of these questions. What about you?

You will receive this new series on how to Stop Rudeness in Your Life for the next few weeks. My motivation for writing these articles is that I see more rudeness. And so do my clients. Each week covers real stories about jerks – no exaggerations! Additionally, I will include strategies on how to deal with rude people.

This is your chance to answer how you would handle each scenario for the next few weeks. In addition, all comments are appreciated along with your own “jerk stories!”

Here We Go with True Story #1 on How to Deal with Jerks

Bob and Gary are two colleagues who don’t get along. Bob realized that no matter what he said or did, Gary would do his best to ridicule Bob at meetings. As a result, the tension got out of hand.
Here is Bob’s “situation”:

One day Bob was standing by his desk. And Gary walked by him. Gary actually stepped on Bob’s foot purposely! That’s it! I promise this really did happen to Bob. I can’t make this stuff up if I tried.

How Would You Deal with Jerks in Your Life Like Gary?

What would you do or say if you were Bob?
How would you handle this situation if you were the boss?

Joyce, Please Tell Us What You Would Do with Jerks in Your Life

I have a couple of answers. You will read about them next week.

This is the time I’m asking YOU to reach out. And share your answers on how you would handle Gary in the comment section.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post.

How does it resonate with you?
What rude behavior have you seen at work or in your personal life?
Don’t get me started about jerks on airplanes these days!

You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Here’s a link to my article, Cruel Words Take Root in Us

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

August 3, 2021 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

3 Important Life Lessons Everyone Learns the Hard Way

Life lessons are so hard to learn at times!

Does this statement sound familiar? “Experience is the best lesson.”

My parents told me this when I “tried” to do something and wasn’t successful. In fact, I hope you noticed that I didn’t use the word FAIL!

Such as when I tried to:

Learn how to ride my bike {wasn’t easy!}
Get an A in a class when I worked so hard and received a B
Join a college club when the lack of experience was a barrier

This article is about the importance of life lessons and experiences.

Definition of Experience

I consulted with my best friend, Webster the Dictionary even though we are familiar with the word “experience”.

Active participation in events or activities, leading to accumulation of knowledge or skill.

American Baseball pitcher, Vernon Sanders Law said,

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lessons afterward.

Life Lessons #1: Failure Isn’t Fatal and Success Isn’t Final

Winston Churchill said this several times in his career. I remind myself of this quote so often. Especially when I don’t know the lesson yet!

Life Lessons #2: Nothing is Impossible. The Word “Impossible” Itself says, “I’m Possible”

Actress, Audrey Hepburn said the hopeful quote above.

It’s tough to remind ourselves of these magical words. Especially when there is so much negativity in the news.

The next time you use the word “impossible”, I hope that you remember – “I’m Possible.” This statement is printed on an index card in my office. There is so much power in “I’m possible.”

Lessons #3: Don’t Let the Fear of Losing be Greater Than the Pleasure of Winning

How many times have we stopped ourselves from trying something new? The reason is FEAR.
Remember that FEAR stands for the following;

F: False
E: Evidence
A: Appearing
R: Real

2020 was a year of learning new virtual skills. So I could continue coaching and presenting online classes. I’m grateful for my mastermind groups. Especially when we shared our apprehension using these news skills. We pushed each other to move forward. In fact, we celebrated when we succeeded at using these new virtual techniques.

What Life Lessons are Your Freinds?

How does this article resonate with you?
What did the experience teach you?
Was there a time when you didn’t try something because of FEAR?
What words get you through negative self-talk?

You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Here’s the link to the article How to Complain Less and Be Happy just in case you missed it.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

July 27, 2021 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

How to Complain Less and Be Happier – 4 Easy Ways

Are you ready for a bold statement from me on how to complain less?
Some complaints are insulting and embarrassing to hear.

There, I said it! I’m expecting some pushback from some of you. And I welcome your opinions!

Full disclosure here: I figured out why people complain more these days. Before you start sending me your pushback, please read the entire article. 🙂 The ideas for this post started when I spoke with my hairdresser Michelle. We always share what’s going on in our worlds every month. And, the conversation is never dull.

Is Complaining a Bad Thing? How to Complain, Less

Constantly complaining can be an easy way to frustrate our confidants. On the other hand, there is research that shows it can also be a useful tool. Especially in helping us process emotions like stress and frustration. In short: Yes, it’s bad to complain, and yes, there’s a right way to do it.

The Story Behind the Story

This is how it all started. My hairdresser, Michelle said, “I was offended by Sue, a guest at a party who complained how hard it was to find a gardener for her 4 acre home. Sue went on and on for about 10 minutes. Sue didn’t know that the people listening to these complaints lived modestly. Most of the guests had to make major financial changes since the pandemic.” Michelle didn’t sound like a victim at all. All she wanted to do was change the conversation! Additionally, she didn’t know how to stop Sue from complaining for such a long time.

Joyce Give Us More Examples: How to Complain, Less

I thought about the conversation with Michelle. And, decided to write this article on how dangerous complaining is for our health – physical and mental.

Here are three examples that I experienced in one week!

A customer couldn’t get eggs at 6 pm because the restaurant was short-staffed – with only one cook. The customer continued complaining for a while and made quite a scene.
Another customer sounded like a 2-year-old. As a result of not getting her way. She found out that the restaurant had to remove lamb chops from the menu. The supplier went out of business. The manager was called in AGAIN to calm down the “2-year old.”
George and Ann made a scene in a local diner. They couldn’t eat at their favorite table. As a result, the manager had to be called in because she needed to calm down these volatile customers.

Enough already! There are more stories that I could include. In fact, I need to start protecting my own health! 🙂

Joyce’s First Impression

At first, I thought how spoiled people are that they complain about the smallest things. This sounds judgmental on my side. I know that. I take full responsibility for this.

Then, I put on my coaching hat after these 3 incidents. And, came up with a less judgy opinion. The pandemic has changed how many of us deal with challenges and change. Some people appreciate the fact that they can get out, travel, and be with loved ones. Others are having a hard time with changes that they had to make. In fact, the smallest change sets them off.

Anxiety is at a high time right now. Additionally, we still don’t know how the virus is going to play out in our future. Plus, we have bigger problems to solve in the world besides the things that we can’t get anymore – like eggs after 1 pm or lamb chops!

Some people have a lower threshold. And, you can see this by the way they complain more than they did before.

Easy Strategies to Use: How to Complain, Less

Your happiness is your choice. Change our thinking and we will change our life. Of course, we all complain at times. Complaining daily is dangerous to your success and happiness.

“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.”- Proverb

2. Be grateful for who you are and what you have. Michelle wanted to tell Sue to feel grateful that she has such a beautiful home with such a huge garden. Michelle didn’t say anything because she didn’t know the guest well. On the other hand, Michelle started to feel more grateful after Sue’s conversation. Michelle loves her home. She loves the fact that she gardens herself because she doesn’t have a large lot!

3. It’s a good thing to vent every once in a while. This is healthy communication. Even more, venting all the time is unhealthy for your relationships, career, and your health.

4. Shift the direction when you are talking to “Connie the Complainer.” Ask Connie, “What’s going right with you these days?” This one question MAY shift Connie from constant complaining to sharing something positive.

Joyce’s Concluding Thoughts

You are the only person who can change your unhealthy communication. Notice how often you complain to family, friends, or at work. This could be an indication that you need to vent more. Additionally, you may be having a hard time keeping up with so many changes. And, an uncertain future. This may be a good time to speak to your doctor or health care provider. Anxiety is at an all-time high now.

People ask me how I keep my positive attitude going. Especially, since I help people deal with their conflict and inner stress. It’s easy for me to answer. I am a human being. At times you will hear me complain also. This pandemic showed me how grateful I am for family, friends, my career, and my health. I realize that everyone is not as fortunate. They have experienced such loss.

I don’t take life for granted. There will always be people who complain about mundane things. It’s their choice. It’s our choice to see how the world has changed. It has nothing to do with us. We need to show our resilience. It’s our new normal.

I welcome your thoughts about this article. Bring on your contrarian views. I’m open and ready to respond.

This is a great time for you to check out how your communication skills impact your success at work and home. Take your FREE Communication Assessment HERE

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post.
How does it resonate with you?
How do you deal with the “Complaining Connies?”

You can share your opinions in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers so that they feel heard and respected.
This means they are confident to use their voice – without losing their cool!

P.P.P.S Let me know if you are ready to discuss if working with me as your (or your direct reports) private coach. It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com for a Free 20 – minute discovery call.

July 20, 2021 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

A Timely Quote about Doubt by William Shakespeare

The timely quote about doubt by William Shakespeare holds true today.

Do you doubt yourself?
Does this happen often?
How do you stop doubt from stressing you out?

Let’s go deeper!

Timely Quote Tip #1: Do You Doubt Yourself?

I can see many of you shaking your head up and down. Of course, we all doubt ourselves at times. In fact, this can be good or bad. First, it’s bad if doubt stops us from moving forward. On the other hand, it’s good if doubt forces us to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Motivational Speaker, Tony Robbins came to Detroit, over 30 years ago. I was starting out at the beginning of my career. Tony talked about doubt for an entire day.

The next day he spoke about strategies for putting our fear into power. Imagine if you were me, eyes wide open. And willing to take any risk to get me unstuck. Was I really ready to become a corporate speaker?

Look for a link at the end of this article for a story that describes my experience with Tony Robbins even more. 🙂

Timely Quote Tip #2: How Often do You Feel Doubt?

Back to Tony Robbins training. The next day, he asked over 1000 participants to think about how often doubt stopped us. Especially, from achieving our goals.
As a matter of fact, I raised my hand immediately. And told Tony that doubt isn’t a big issue for me. Additionally, I said, that when doubt appears in my life, I question the validity. Is this really fear or:

F: False
E: Evidence
A: Appearing
R: Real

Tony said some great affirmations and it seemed like he spoke only to me. 🙂

Timely Quote Tip #3: How Do You Stop Doubt from Stressing You Out?

Tony’s real message came on the last day of the training. In fact, he invited all of us who were ready to risk, to walk on hot coals. And overcome our fears. As a matter of fact, I was not one of the first ones to get up and say, “I’m ready, Tony!”

I thought I was ready. Until he looked at my eyes. He said, “not yet, you need to work a bit more on your self-doubt.” I watched others walk across the hot coals. And saw the glee in their eyes when they were done. I wanted that too!

So, dear readers, did I walk or not? The final answer is…YES!

It took another 30 minutes to remind myself that I trusted Tony. The biggest issue with doubt is to start trusting ourselves more.

I use this analogy in my coaching practice. Clients who doubt themselves need to know that they are not alone. I share how I overcame certain fears in my life. This gives them hope that their coach is a human being also with fears, doubts, and conflict. 🙂

The good news is that this ‘coal walking experience” still influences me today.

I hope it will give you that little push the next time doubt stops you from trying something new. Ask yourself if it’s a real fear or “false evidence appearing true!”

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post.

How does Shakespeare’s timely quote resonate with you?
When has doubt stopped you?
What do you do to stop doubt from stressing you out?
Have you read any of Tony Robbin’s books?

You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Read more about my personal story about Tony Robbin’s Fire Walk Experience HERE

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. Do you know young adults in high school or college who need to discuss their doubts, career choices, and timely issues. A couple of my clients asked me to coach their young adults. The results were gratifying. And it only takes a few sessions.

Stop Your Self-Doubt with Jerks: How to Deal with Jerks#2

Stop Your Self-Doubt Strategy #1

Stop Your Self-Doubt Strategy #2