- Do you know how to control your triggers?
- Would you like a little inspiration on how to stay positive when you are with people who irritate you?
- Are you tired of people complaining about their life yet don’t do anything to change?
Welcome to my world! I recently took a class at the World of Business and Executive Coaching Summit (WBECS) and the speaker seemed to talk just to me. 🙂
She explained how coaches attract people who are working on the same issues as the coach. I delved into that statement and I was amazed at how true it is. Clients call me to so they can feel more confident in their communication with bullies and other tough situations. You know, that I’m the Queen of Conflict Resolution and know all about triggers! 🙂
So what about you? Look at the people in your life. What kind of friends or colleagues do you seem to attract? The great news is when we attract people with the same positive qualities as you. The bad news is when we also attract negative triggers (people or situations that become stressors for us).
Joyce, How Can We Control Our Triggers?
- It’s not easy! The first step is to know your triggers. Who or what causes you to react negatively?
- Now that you know your triggers, plan how you will stop yourself from reacting.
- You can walk out of the room, tell them that you have an appointment and get off the phone, or do your best to stay away from them.
- We all need support these days. We also need kind honesty and feedback when we don’t see negativity seeping into our conversations.
- Constructive feedback is a gift when it’s done with good intentions.
There may be times when you MUST be with your triggers. Not to worry.
I suggest that you look at them as a chair. You don’t get mad at a chair for being a chair. Don’t get mad at people for who they are – it’s usually their issue and not ours. We make it our issue and we can stop that once we know that we can change our internal conversations. Stop saying, “I can’t take him or her anymore” to “I’m in control of how I feel and you are a chair, so you can’t really push me!”
This is definitely a strange way to talk to yourself. It works, so try it before you roll your eyes. 🙂
How Does Wonder Woman Control Her Triggers? 
I love Gal Gadot’s role as Wonder Woman. I saw a recent quote of hers,
I do me.
You do you.
I’d rather have you not like me at this moment than not saying my truth.
When we control our triggers, we have a better chance of what comes out of our mouths. This will be your magic sauce!
Do your best to step back and think what the best solution is for you. Is it better to be silent or speak your truth? We can control our triggers once we realize that we have choices on how to react.
Let’s Stay In Touch
Please share how you control your triggers in the comment section. What is your secret sauce? What issues are you still having with your triggers?
I’m here as your own Master Coach. Send me an email HERE if you have a private question to ask.
Until next time,
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
The Queen of Conflict Resolution
PS I hope that these ideas will help you enjoy your holidays – especially when those irritating people open their mouths.