• Do you need a reminder about not taking things personally when someone pushes back?
• Is it time to have a  difficult conversation with your boss?
• Are you ready to use your voice even if you fear the consequences?

If so, you are in the right place!

Laneshia Collier, Human Resource Professional, was a guest on my show, Kick Conflict to the Curb™. She spoke about a difficult conversation that she had with her boss. She knew it was necessary to take this risk so both could move forward.

Laneshia discovered that her manager didn’t know what she was responsible for in the company. He didn’t notice the positive changes that Laneshia and her team made for the company. And she knew that she needed to educate her boss. 😉 The team felt ignored and underappreciated.  It was worth the risk of retaliation – which didn’t happen. The result is that her manager listened and appreciated the feedback.

It takes courage to speak up and address tough issues, but it’s better than letting resentment build up. Remember, honest communication is key in any relationship, even in the workplace.

Not taking things personally is a skill that takes constant practice – reminding yourself that it usually has NOTHING to do with you!

We all Have to Engage in Difficult Conversations in Our Life

Whether with a friend, family member, or colleague at work, these conversations can be uncomfortable and even painful. However, one of the most important things to remember during these conversations is not to take things personally.

When we engage in difficult conversations, it’s natural for emotions to run high. We may feel hurt, angry, or frustrated; taking these emotions personally is easy. However, when we take things personally, we may react in ways that are not productive or even harmful.

How to Avoid Taking Things Personally

1. Practice active listening: One of the best ways to avoid taking things personally is to practice active listening. This means truly listening to the other person’s words without interrupting or getting defensive. When we actively listen, we can gain a better understanding of the other person’s perspective and respond in a more constructive way.

2. Remember that it’s not about you: When someone is upset or angry, it’s easy to assume it’s because of something we did. However, it’s important to remember that the other person’s emotions are not necessarily about us. They may be dealing with their own personal issues or frustrations.

3. Stay calm and focused: When emotions run high, it’s easy to get caught up in the moment and react emotionally. However, it’s important to stay calm and focused during difficult conversations. Take a deep breath, count to ten, and stay centered.

4. Separate facts from opinions: During difficult conversations, separating facts from opinions is important. When we focus on the facts, we can have a more productive conversation and avoid taking things personally. Ask questions to clarify any misunderstandings and try to stay objective.

Difficult conversations are a part of life and don’t have to be destructive. By practicing active listening, remembering that it’s not about you, staying calm and focused, and separating facts from opinions, you can have a more productive and positive conversation. Remember, difficult conversations can lead to growth and understanding, so don’t be afraid to engage in them.