George, a participant in one of my conflict resolution workshops shared the following story. Tommy, his ten year old son woke at 5:30am and kept on slamming his bedroom door while getting ready for school. Tommy woke up his parents and sister. It was time for THE TALK between father and son. George told Tommy that he will take the handle off of the door if Tommy continues to slam the door in the morning.
Tommy was upset that his father was mad and pleaded with him that he would never do this again. George thought a moment and said, “OK, Tommy, it sounds like you are taking this matter seriously. The next time this happens I will not only remove the handle but I will also remove your bedroom door. I will agree not to remove the door handle at this time as long as you understand that you will be held accountable for your actions.” Tommy agreed. The problem was solved and the door slamming stopped like magic.
This worked as well as it did because George taught Tommy about accountability.
Accountability is a word that is coming up more often than ever before in conversations with clients. Accountability is taking responsibility for your actions. George did Tommy a favor by teaching him at a young age that he will be responsible for his actions. I only wish that more parents did this!
I find that many leaders don’t know how to confront employees on the importance of being held responsible for their actions if certain behavioral patterns are not broken.
We can all learn from George and how he resolved conflict and interpersonal issues with Tommy. Come up with your own solutions by thinking how a problem can be solved. It’s a great idea to have employees come up with solutions since many times they have better answers!
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