Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Stop Your Self-Doubt with Jerks: How to Deal with Jerks#2

Do you want to stop your self-doubt with jerks?
Are you ready to go deep to stop your self-doubt?

If so, this article is just what your Dr. ordered.

Last week I shared a true story about my client Bob whose co-worker, Gary, caused havoc for him at work.  Gary actually walked into Bob’s office to step on Bob’s foot purposely.
Here’s the link for those who didn’t see this article:  Stop the Rudeness in Your Life:  How to Deal with Jerks #1

I asked my readers to think about what they would do if they were Bob. Here’s my take along with some of my readers’ responses:

Stop Your Self-Doubt Strategy #1 

Don’t reply with a sarcastic or quick retort. bullies in the workplace
This is exactly how the Garys in the world want you to react.  Do your best to continue what you were doing and walk away.

I realize that having Gary step on Bob’s foot would create a bit of a problem. Gary is waiting for Bob to push back. It takes a lot of practice to walk away and not react.


You may want to stand up for yourself which is fine.  Just make sure and don’t become sarcastic or loud.
Stay in control and say something like, “Gary, this situation is getting out of hand. And we need to figure out how to move forward. We are on the same team. Let’s meet tomorrow after things cool down.”

You will react in many different directions. I vote for calmness and control.

Please let us know how you would handle this situation in the comment section below.

Stop Your Self-Doubt Strategy #2

Start documenting Gary’s rude/bullying behavior. Show your boss that you are not a tattletale.  You are standing up for yourself and asking for guidance. stop your self doubt | improve communication

If you work for a jerk, you may need to look for another job.  Especially if the stress is affecting your health.

More Thoughts on How to Stop Your Self-Doubt

This series is a personal one for me. I’ve experienced numerous people do their best to bring me down. And they won for many years.  I used to become defensive and didn’t like that at all.  Welcome to the beginning of my quest to figure this stuff out.

Here are some examples:

Scenario #1

“Joyce, why do you wear makeup when you go grocery shopping?”

This used to bother me. I never want to be a diva.  It finally dawned on me that self-care is something important to me. And I share this with coaching clients who need to hear this message.
Self-doubt disappears when we figure out our values. And what’s important to us. Other people have their own agenda and they project their issues onto us!

Scenario #2

“Joyce, why do you read books on psychology and not fiction when you’re on vacation? You need to chill more”

Years ago, I was upset with this kind of question. I thought that there was something strange about me because I didn’t make time to read romance novels or mysteries. 

It didn’t take me long to figure out that comments like these were made by former friends who were upset with something in their life.  They tried to put me down because of their own insecurities.  My passion for supporting others and constant learning is who I choose to be. That’s my final answer! 🙂

Stay tuned for more of my stories and how I changed from feeling unconfident to becoming the Queen of Conflict Resolution. I will also share another true story about jerks and how they impacted my clients – in a negative way.  You’ll also discover how they changed from feeling self-doubt to total confidence.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Here’s the link for those who didn’t see this article:  Stop the Rudeness in Your Life:  How to Deal with Jerks #1

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com for a Free 20 – minute discovery call.

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A Timely Quote about Doubt by William Shakespeare

The timely quote about doubt by William Shakespeare holds true today.

  • Do you doubt yourself?
  • Does this happen often?
  • How do you stop doubt from stressing you out?

Let’s go deeper! 

timely quote

 

Timely Quote Tip #1: Do You Doubt Yourself?

I can see many of you shaking your head up and down. Of course, we all doubt ourselves at times. In fact, this can be good or bad.  First, it’s bad if doubt stops us from moving forward.  On the other hand, it’s good if doubt forces us to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Motivational Speaker, Tony Robbins came to Detroit, over 30 years ago. I was starting out at the beginning of my career. Tony talked about doubt for an entire day. 

The next day he spoke about strategies for putting our fear into power. Imagine if you were me, eyes wide open. And willing to take any risk to get me unstuck. Was I really ready to become a  corporate speaker?   

Look for a link at the end of this article for a story that describes my experience with Tony Robbins even more. 🙂

Timely Quote Tip #2:  How Often do You Feel Doubt?

Back to Tony Robbins training.  The next day, he asked over 1000 participants to think about how often doubt stopped us. Especially,  from achieving our goals.
As a matter of fact, I raised my hand immediately. And told Tony that doubt isn’t a big issue for me. Additionally, I said, that when doubt appears in my life, I question the validity. Is this really fear or:

F: False
E: Evidence
A: Appearing
R: Real

Tony said some great affirmations and it seemed like he spoke only to me. 🙂 

Timely Quote Tip #3:  How Do You Stop Doubt from Stressing You Out?

Tony’s real message came on the last day of the training. In fact, he invited all of us who were ready to risk, to walk on hot coals. And overcome our fears. As a matter of fact, Career Coach | timely quoteI was not one of the first ones to get up and say, “I’m ready, Tony!” 

I thought I was ready. Until he looked at my eyes. He said, “not yet, you need to work a bit more on your self-doubt.” I watched others walk across the hot coals.  And saw the glee in their eyes when they were done.  I wanted that too!

So, dear readers, did I walk or not? The final answer is…YES!

It took another 30 minutes to remind myself that I trusted Tony. The biggest issue with doubt is to start trusting ourselves more.  

I use this analogy in my coaching practice. Clients who doubt themselves need to know that they are not alone. I share how I overcame certain fears in my life. This gives them hope that their coach is a human being also with fears, doubts, and conflict. 🙂

The good news is that this ‘coal walking experience” still influences me today. 

I hope it will give you that little push the next time doubt stops you from trying something new.  Ask yourself if it’s a real fear or “false evidence appearing true!”

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post.

  • How does Shakespeare’s timely quote resonate with you?
  • When has doubt stopped you?
  • What do you do to stop doubt from stressing you out?
  • Have you read any of Tony Robbin’s books?

You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Read more about my personal story about Tony Robbin’s Fire Walk Experience HERE

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers so that they feel heard and respected.
This means they are confident to use their voice – without losing their cool.

P.P.S. Do you know young adults in high school or college who need to discuss their doubts, career choices, and timely issues.  A couple of my clients asked me to coach their young adults. The results were gratifying. And it only takes a few sessions.

 

 

 

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831