As a conflict resolution consultant and accountability coach I help my clients reduce conflict in the workplace to improve their working condition.

We learned in the previous articles that people who hold on to grudges waste a lot of energy living in the past and blaming others. Happy people don’t carry grudges and are more open to resolving conflict. They know how to let things go and move on.

When you deal with bullies do your best to get into the gap by taking a breath and decide how you want to respond. Pushing back or remaining silent will not get the results that you want.

Remember that you have many options to use.

1. Review and use the power talk formula:
   I am…when…because
   “I am frustrated when I give ideas to the team because the interruptions stop our creativity and collaboration.”
2. Use verbal aikido and agree with the bully or negative person.
   “You are right I can see how my enthusiasm can be a bit too much at times.”
   By agreeing you pulled back.  You did not lose control…you just agreed.

The bully may respect you after you use these tools because you didn’t let him or her crush your ideas and self-esteem.

I hope that these tips will help you during tough conversations. The next article will give you resources to use to reduce conflict in the workplace.

Until next time, this is Joyce Weiss and remember, “You get what you tolerate!”

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As a conflict resolution consultant and accountability coach I help my clients reduce conflict in the workplace to improve their working condition.

This article will give you ideas on how you can react the best way that you can…even to bullies. You may not always get the results that you want but you will feel better about yourself.

We all hear the words stimulus and response.

• The stimulus is something that happens to us…
  For example when someone speaks in a sarcastic way.
• The response is how we react to something.
  In this example it would be how we react to the sarcasm.

I’d like to add creating a gap to our equation. This is where you decide how to react. I always suggest that we take a breath and pause for a quick moment to decide what you want to say to the person.

You can react in the following ways when you create a gap:

• Use sarcasm
• Ignore them
• Take revenge
• Let it go
• Thank them

One of my favorite stories is the rake story. You go to a neighbor to ask him to borrow his rake and he says, “No” Next week he comes to your house and asks to borrow your shovel. You can either:

• Say “You’ve got to be kidding.”
• You can give it to him with a sarcastic comment such as, “I’m better than you”
• You don’t say anything and show him a mean look.
• Or you can ask him the reason why he did not give you the rake and give him the shovel without any hesitation.

I recommend that we ask ourselves, “What is the best way to respond so that we feel good about ourselves?” It does help to let go of things that happened yesterday and to give up revenge. Keeping score takes too much energy.

We usually have more ways to respond. We don’t have to get defensive, be sarcastic, take revenge or suffer in silence. Of course we don’t always respond the best way we can. Take a moment and ask yourself what you learned about your response so that you don’t repeat this pattern. It is better to pull back and not push someone when they attack you with sarcasm.

I hope that these tips will help you take your communication to a new level. The next article will give you tools to use during tough conversations.

Until next time, this is Joyce Weiss and remember, “You get what you tolerate!”

Ready for the next step?

Dare to turn conflict in the workplace into creativity and bigger profits!

When you follow the steps in my “Communication with Impact” e-course you will transform your relationships at work and at home!

You’ll discover the secrets to:

• Gaining control in tough conversations
• Building respect between generations
• Resolving issues with bullies and difficult people

Read what my client, Tom said about the course:

“Your program affected significant change in our organization. Your practical strategies gave our leaders real tools to boost morale and pull their teams together.” – Tom Cieszynski, Executive Director, South East MI Health Assn

Discover how you can improve your working condition immediately by clicking on the link below:

How to Improve Communication Skills

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As a conflict resolution consultant and accountability coach I help my clients reduce conflict in the workplace to improve their working condition.

Anywhere you go you hear reports on bullies in school. Experts are beginning to train both teachers and students on how to deal with bullies. This is a step in the right direction.

My clients tell me about bullies in their workplace. They don’t know how to deal with them.

Bullies can be the following:

• Leaders who like overusing their power
• Outgoing people who take advantage of the quiet ones
• Loud people who are kings and queens of sarcasm, teasing, and verbal abuse

These behaviors hurt self esteem, morale and productivity.

The workplace is starting to understand that bullies need to be stopped. If schools are dealing with bullies then it is time for companies to do the same thing.

Here are some tips on how to deal with the bully situation:

• Hold sensitivity training on how different equals different… Different does not equal wrong.
• Talkative people don’t always have the best ideas. Encourage the quieter people to contribute. Once they do they are surprised that they actually have great ideas to share.
• Coach people who are used to taking over conversations to practice their listening skills.  This takes time to learn.
• Hold meetings with teams to create their own rules on how to stop bullies.
• Be very clear that bullies will not rule the workplace anymore.

I hope that these tips will help you spread the word on the importance of a workplace where everyone’s ideas will be heard. My next article will give you tips on how to communicate directly to get the respect and results that you deserve.

Until next time, this is Joyce Weiss and remember, “You get what you tolerate!”

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As a conflict resolution consultant and accountability coach I help my clients reduce conflict in the workplace to improve their working condition.

Successful leaders know the value of constant improvement. Are you as good of a leader as you can be?

Signs of a good leader include:

• Growing people while still achieving company goals
• Providing the emotional safety for those willing to risk and shrink the comfort zone

One of my clients, a CEO of a hospital tells all job applicants, “Constant improvement and high expectations are part of the job.” He tells them that he will do the same job functions as everyone on the team. There is NO…it’s not my job at his hospital! He also tells the applicants that they better not ask for a raise if they are doing their job the same way that they did a year ago. He stresses this before he even hires new staff. Expectations and communication are very clear at his hospital.

Here are some easy tips to encourage constant improvement:

• Take employees out to lunch and ask them to share ideas on how your company can grow in order to improve their working condition.
• Ask for solutions and not just a dumping ground for complaints.
• Ask them to share what wastes are still happening in the company.
• Reward them when an idea of theirs is used to improve meetings or necessary waste.
• Learn the Lean Philosophy from Toyota to identify bottlenecks and areas for improvement.

I hope that these tips will help your company continuously grow and improve. My next article will give you tips on how to deal with bullies in the workplace.

Until next time, this is Joyce Weiss and remember, “You get what you tolerate!”

Is Accountability Coaching for You?

Schedule a Complementary Discovery Conversation with Joyce Weiss and discover what’s possible and how get to the next level in your career and improve your working conditions!

Click here to schedule your Complementary Discovery Conversation

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As a conflict resolution consultant and accountability coach I help my clients reduce conflict in the workplace to improve their working condition.

I have a question for you… Can you think of a reason why burnout is good? The answer is…it’s time for a change!

I would rather burn out a few times in my life than rust out…which is constant boredom. Why do we wait until our doctor tells us that we need to make changes because our health is being compromised?

If you are experiencing burnout, talk to your boss about realistic expectations. It helps if you have a solution and not just complaints about your job stress. Remember… whose life is it anyway?

You hear a message that I use every time I sign off from these articles… “You get what you tolerate!”

The following stories are about people who were experiencing burnout. They decided that it was time for a change after attending some of my programs:

• Betty who owns a housekeeping company did not take a vacation in 14 years. She did not want to let her clients down. She realized that this needed to change since she was   experiencing a serious case of burnout.

• A  Manager of restaurant started to cry during my program. She realized how she put her job before her own needs and decided to make a change.

• A mental health professional promised his family that he will be home by 8pm instead of sleeping in the hospital.

All of these people set boundaries and are living a more fulfilled life. Remember that the good news about burn out… It is time for a change.

I have a question for you: What do you need to do to help you or your employees reduce burnout?

I hope that these new facts about stress will help you make some changes in your own life. My next article will deal with the value of constant improvement to improve morale.

Until next time, This is Joyce Weiss and remember, “You get what you tolerate!”

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