Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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March 28, 2024 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Resolve Conflicts: One Question That Changes Everything

resolve conflicts
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Assumptions get us in trouble when we don’t know the whole story!
                                      Joyce Weiss, Queen of Conflict Resolution

In this issue of Kick Conflict to the Curb™, we will cover one of my favorite questions that I share with coaching clients and during facilitation sessions.

Managing conflict efficiently is essential in your continuous efforts to maintain an atmosphere of cooperation and respect. It’s intriguing how a single well-phrased question can often uncover the heart of the matter, leading to easy resolutions. 

Are you ready to explore this question and how it can help you as a Department Head or Leader to de-escalate conflicts with your direct reports?

A Powerful Question that Changed the Way I Resolve Conflicts

The following story happened to me at the beginning of my training career. A Department Head invited me to facilitate a session about Kicking Conflict to the Curb™ with her team.

I have shared the opening story during numerous facilitation programs. Audiences relate to it and usually react with smiles or quiet laughter. Not this time. No one reacted!

A few minutes later, I asked them to divide into groups of 3 to discuss case scenarios their peers shared in the pre-interviews. No one stood up, and they just stared at me.

Yikes! What was going on? Self-doubt started creeping into my mind. What was I doing wrong? The session ended, and I approached my client to discuss the program. She smiled and said, “Joyce, your content was great. And I forgot to tell you that they had a two-hour cocktail party before your  session.”

I learned a huge lesson from that experience. I now ask clients if there will be cocktail parties before my session! 

The question that I learned was – What Don’t I Know?  This one question could have changed the entire training if I assertively asked the group, What don’t I Know? They would have told me that they needed a nap. 😉 It had nothing to do with the content or my skills. 

Today’s Recap  of The Power of What Don’t I Know to Resolve Conflicts

Think about your conflicts and how to use “What Don’t I Know” to stop assumptions or conflict from escalating. This one question gives you information that you probably didn’t think about.

It’s intriguing how a single well-phrased question can often uncover the heart of the matter, leading to resolutions. 

The great news is that when you learn to stop any process that isn’t going well and ask, “What don’t I know?” it will be a lifesaver during meetings and even with your family! 🙂

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Join the conversation: What questions have you found effective for resolving conflict in your workplace? Please share your experience, and let’s learn from each other.

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Please join Willie Jones,  Central Distribution Manager at Behler-Young Company, and me on the live broadcast on LinkedIn on April 3rd at Noon ET. We will have an essential and engaging conversation on “Addressing Issues Head-On with Passion!”

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy 

And Remember, You Get What You Tolerate!

 

 

Filed Under: Conflict in the Workplace, conflict resolution skills

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