How to Take Control of Difficult Conversations Part 2
Previously we talked about Verbal Aikido – the way to respond to a verbal attack by accepting the comment, redirecting it, and reaffirming your stance. Let’s continue:
Enhance Your Communication, Enhance Your Career
There’s no doubt that being able to communicate effectively is a major determinant to professional success. Hostile and emotional reactions only add fuel to the discussion … while counter responses restore harmony and balance.
So the next time you’re the recipient of a verbal lashing, analyze the comment. If the other party is pushing your buttons, pull back. If the other party is pulling you in a direction you don’t want the conversation to go, push forward.
Remember these five tips:
1. Protect yourself from others who try to infect you with their anger and hostility by being Direct with Respect®.
2. No matter who is dishing out the verbal assault, whether it’s a client, coworker, or supervisor, never repeat the accusation. Doing so will only force you to absorb the negative message.
3. You can diffuse any verbal attack by dissecting the comment and then deciding whether to push or pull as you accept, redirect, and reaffirm the statement.
4. When you give the other party nothing to push against, you gain control of the situation.
You are able to remain positive during the conversation, not defensive.
5. When all else fails, have the courage to walk away from someone who is verbally attacking you. Don’t be a willing participant in an uncontrollable negative situation.
The more proficient you become at Verbal Aikido, the more natural it will become – and the stronger all your verbal communications will be.
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