Do You Know How to Set Boundaries to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace and Home?
I was recently interviewed by HAP (Health Alliance Plan) for their brilliant WISE WOMAN MAGAZINE.
They are generous enough to grant me permission to share the article with my readers.
I find that we all need to set boundaries in order to balance our hectic life.
Do you have colleagues or loved ones that use a lot of your time talking and talking while you are in the middle of something important?
If so, this article will give you some ideas on how to take charge of this stressful situation.
Do you have a tough time saying, “no” to others who ask you to volunteer since you are the “right person” to help them with a project?
If so, you will find out how easy it is to say, “no” without sounding aggressive.
Enjoy the article and please let me know your boundary issues at work and home. I will ask you to share these with me at the end of the
Learn the Power of Boundaries
You’re invited to be on the PTA!
You’re such a great baker; we need your help with the bake sale!
A co-worker needs your help with a work project!
“It feels good when people ask us to do things we’re good
at,” says Joyce Weiss, M.A., C.S.P., and conflict resolution
consultant. “Our egos are stroked. We like it when other
people need us.”
Boundaries? What Boundaries?
“We had boundaries as kids,” Joyce points out.
“Come home when the streetlights come on. No TV until your homework is completed.”
Too often, though, we don’t set them for ourselves as adults.
“Think about recent commitments and make a list of duties you wish you had said no to.
This can help you prepare a response for the next time.
Finally, politely but firmly enforce your boundaries. If you set boundaries and people still take advantage, it’s your fault.
You get what you tolerate.”
Shannon, a busy working mother, wanted to return to school to earn her degree.
She knew the extra hours would affect her family, so she called a family meeting.
“She explained it was a two-year commitment,” Joyce recounts.
“Her kids would need to make their own lunches and life might be a little more stressful.
The payoff was a better job for Shannon, allowing the family to have money for the vacation they wanted, or for her kids to attend college.
They agreed to her plan. To this day, when they complain, she reminds them about that meeting about Shannon’s boundary, and it’s working.”
Do you have a co-worker who stops by your desk, seeking help for her projects and leaving you with less time for your
own? “Use ‘I’ language to deflect them,” suggests Joyce.
“For example, ‘I’m frustrated … because I’d love to help you out, but I’m too busy.
’ Or set a time limit: ‘I can give you five minutes, because I have a meeting at three.’”
What about that friend whose number on your caller ID makes you groan?
These energy vampires are talkaholics, and it’s all about them and what they need.
You don’t have to pick up the phone. Or you can say up front, “I’m tied up this week; I’ll be glad to call you back or email you.”
As Wise Women, we encounter demands for our time and energy from many directions.
When those demands become too much, the continual stress can lead to an array of health problems.
Create and enforce boundaries to help manage your stress levels, and you will feel better about the commitments you make.
It can mean a longer, healthier, happier life.
Joyce Weiss, based in West Bloomfield, Michigan, is the author of Take the Ride of Your Life! Shift Gears for More Balance, Growth, and Joy. Sign up for free articles at www.joyceweiss.com.
You may want to check out my book Take the Ride of Your Life! which gives tips on boundaries and shifting gears for more balance and growth. Check out the table of contents and summary at this link.
I hope that you enjoyed the article!
Was it helpful?
Send me what boundaries you set for yourself at home or work.
I will respond to you when you make comments.
Staying connected with my readers is an important part of my career!
Until next time, This is Joyce Weiss
and remember…You Get What You Tolerate!