As a conflict resolution consultant and accountability coach I help my clients reduce conflict in the workplace to improve their working condition.
This article will give you ideas on how you can react the best way that you can…even to bullies. You may not always get the results that you want but you will feel better about yourself.
We all hear the words stimulus and response.
- The stimulus is something that happens to us…
For example when someone speaks in a sarcastic way. - The response is how we react to something.
In this example it would be how we react to the sarcasm.
I’d like to add creating a gap to our equation. This is where you decide how to react. I always suggest that we take a breath and pause for a quick moment to decide what you want to say to the person.
You can react in the following ways when you create a gap:
- Use sarcasm
- Ignore them
- Take revenge
- Let it go
- Thank them
One of my favorite stories is the rake story. You go to a neighbor to ask him to borrow his rake and he says, “No” Next week he comes to your house and asks to borrow your shovel. You can either:
- Say “You’ve got to be kidding.”
- You can give it to him with a sarcastic comment such as, “I’m better than you”
- You don’t say anything and show him a mean look.
- Or you can ask him the reason why he did not give you the rake and give him the shovel without any hesitation.
I recommend that we ask ourselves, “What is the best way to respond so that we feel good about ourselves?” It does help to let go of things that happened yesterday and to give up revenge. Keeping score takes too much energy.
We usually have more ways to respond. We don’t have to get defensive, be sarcastic, take revenge or suffer in silence. Of course we don’t always respond the best way we can. Take a moment and ask yourself what you learned about your response so that you don’t repeat this pattern. It is better to pull back and not push someone when they attack you with sarcasm.
I hope that these tips will help you take your communication to a new level. The next article will give you tools to use during tough conversations.
Until next time, this is Joyce Weiss and remember, “You get what you tolerate!”
Ready for the next step?
Dare to turn conflict in the workplace into creativity and bigger profits!
When you follow the steps in my “Communication with Impact” e-course you will transform your relationships at work and at home!
You’ll discover the secrets to:
- Gaining control in tough conversations
- Building respect between generations
- Resolving issues with bullies and difficult people
Read what my client, Tom said about the course:
“Your program affected significant change in our organization. Your practical strategies gave our leaders real tools to boost morale and pull their teams together.” – Tom Cieszynski, Executive Director, South East MI Health Assn
Discover how you can improve your working condition immediately by clicking on the link below:
How to Improve Communication Skills
If you enjoyed this video, you may enjoy these articles.
Set Realistic Expectations to Improve Communication in the Workplace
Use Be Direct with Respect® to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace
dale westrick says
Joyce
I think the most important thing to do is the first thing you suggested. Take a deep breath and decide how to react. I personally feel it depends on the situation and if it is something where someone is just looking for an argument I just let it go. I have a personal policy I will debate with anyone argue with no one. Usually and argument changes no ones opinion but a debate at least has a chance of making some progress.
Dale
Joyce Weiss says
Dale, You are obviously a smart communicator! The fact that you will debate with anyone and argue with no one is a winning statement. I look forward to hearing your comments. Keep them coming.
jerry says
Tip #18 was the most powerful one yet. I am immediately implementing your suggestions in my workplace and will keep you advised as to the results.
Joyce Weiss says
Thanks Jerry. If you have not signed up for the FREE video series on “Resolving Conflict in the Workplace” at http://JoyceWeiss.com please check it out. I look forward to hearing more comments from you.